Kiss me and I'm yours - A Severus Snape story

Chapter 35: Expexto Patronum

While Kimberly had to leave and arrived at Malfoy Manor, Severus Snape didn't know who he was. He hadn't a clue. He also didn't know where Kimberly went or why she didn't visit him. If they are friends or colleagues or whatever, why wouldn't she see him? For a couple weeks now, he was talking with that woman called Minerva McGonagall. From time-to-time Poppy showed up to check on him. He liked Poppy. She pursued her job with such passion, and she seemed to really know what she was doing. He felt safe around her, knowing she is trying to make him healthy again.

On another note, both, Minerva and Poppy, seemed to tiptoe around him. They weren't talking much, sometimes even ignoring his questions or switching the topic quickly. He wanted to know what's going on, and not knowing made him crazy. It felt like they were hiding things from him, big things, important things. He wanted to change that. He felt like a blithering idiot not knowing what's going on. He wasn't even allowed to leave his own chambers. He didn't know why and no one would answer him.

"Good morning, Severus", Minerva greeted him. "Good morning", Severus grumbled. Minerva chuckled at his greeting, which made his face turn in confusion. "What is so funny?", he asked bored. "You're almost like yourself again", she smirked. He cocked an eyebrow at that. He didn't know what she meant by that. "What are you implying?", he asked. "Oh... nothing", she quickly said and sat down across from him. "Okay I am so done with this. Why is no one telling me what is going on? I do not enjoy being kept in the dark. I want to make decisions for myself, and I cannot do that if I am not allowed to leave this damn room", he sounded angry and desperate. "Severus, as much as I'd like to tell you I can't", Minerva tried to reason with him but he wouldn't have it. "How am I supposed to remember then?", he argued.

He had a good point. Minerva struggled. She knew Severus was right. She knew deep down that she should tell him everything, but is it really her place to say? She didn't have the entire picture. Dumbledore did for sure. Kimberly, maybe, but where to start? She decided to give in. She wouldn't answer everything, but maybe she'd answer a few questions. "Okay, you win. But I won't answer every question because it is not my place", she agreed. Severus sighed in relief. Finally, he might get some answers. "I'll start easy. For how long have I been a teacher here?". She smiled at that, remembering a young Severus Snape. "Dumbledore appointed you as Potions Master right after you graduated. You are particularly gifted in that area. He once told me that he has never seen someone work with that precision. You always tried to make your potions better and you experimented a lot. You had nowhere to go, so he made sure that you could stay here", she explained. "What do you mean I had nowhere else to go?", he questioned, now interested in the conversation. "You are what we call a half blood. Your mother was a witch, your father was not a wizard. We call non-magical people muggle. You had an abusive childhood, Severus. Your father... he abused you, mistreated you and your mother as well. Your father believed you to be an abomination. So, when you graduated, Dumbledore made sure that you had a place to stay", Minerva explained. Her heart hurt in that moment, having to explain to him, what his childhood was like.

Summer vacation was almost over. Thank Merlin. If Kimberly had to stay another week, she might go insane. She was tired, exhausted really and she only wanted to drop dead. She had to practice every single day in order to control her powers. Voldemort oversaw her training and when she didn't perform, well, I think you can imagine what happened to her. Today is her last test. If she passes this one, Voldemort will know that she is ready and then she can finally return to Hogwarts and live in peace, at least for a short while. Her only problem with her last duel is a certain person. Voldemort chose Bellatrix. If I can beat her, I can return, if not, I don't know what'll happen to me, but I do not want to find out. She hated me from the beginning, and I can't even blame her that much. She adores Voldemort. She would do anything for him, the only thing he needs to do is ask and she wouldn't give it a second thought. When Voldemort made sure his attention was towards me, it drove Bellatrix mad. If looks could kill, I would have been dead the second I stepped foot into the Manor. When I pleased him with my training, his entire attention was drawn towards me and I hated it. Sometimes he even put his hand on my back, and I wanted to throw up. I felt disgusted with myself, but I couldn't say anything against it because in his mind I was supposed to worship him. He would invite to the many dinner parties Narcissa had to organize and he introduced me to his inner circle, and they all looked at me like I was a prize to win, an object to make the men look more powerful. They all disgusted me. Greyback was the worst. With his werewolf instincts he actually saw me as prey, but not the kind of prey that had to be killed by him. In his eyes I am the kind of prey who is supposed to beg for her life at his feet and I can promise you, he will never see me beg. Voldemort has forbidden any of them to touch me, which I was thankful for. Not that I needed him to protect me but I also didn't want to look over my shoulder every second because some idiot can't keep it in his pants. The men even had to ask Voldemort for wives. Women are seen as objects and not as human beings, most of them anyway.