Maybe I'm such a devout feminist
because I was raised in a culture
where misogyny was present in every step.
Perhaps I'm tired of hearing my mother
say "if you were a son" as if I was
born female just to spite her. Perhaps
it's the words "You can't leave the
house in the dark" during early winter
nights when sunlight fades by 5
and the day is stretched long ahead of
me, yet tinted with the insinuation
that I will be assaulted anywhere and
everywhere I choose to go alone. Perhaps
I don't want to believe that all of
my problems will be solved by a husband
who can swoop in and save the day
because I do not have the mental capacity
to solve them myself.
(Do ovaries cancel out brain cells?)
Perhaps it's just the influence of
feminist propaganda in western culture,
and I am just a sheep with no
free will in the matter.
Whatever the case, I like to say
that I can do anything a
man can do and more, but it's
hard to be powerful when anxiety claws at my throat
every time I want my voice to be heard.
When the weight of other people's
attention makes me want to cower,
sometimes collapse, because I cannot
physically handle it.
How can you work from the
sidelines and still make a difference --
still prove to people that you're
as significant as the rest of them
(that is to say, equally insignificant).
How to prove I am just as capable
when the situation demands -- not
as a man, not as a woman,
but as a human?
