This self-confidence flakes away
Vanishing slowly to the sky
starved for attention
But too scared to take a bite
So sorry for the texts
That only served to deceive
Couldn't tell if my feelings atrophied
Or if I just got cold feet.
My imagination tends to sprint
Runs wild at first glance
for the Unattainable
With whom I have no chance
Wanna feel my fingers in your hair
And your eyes on my skin
I'll rot myself in this fantasy
If it's the only you I'll win.
Never learned to love
Never had courage to test it
But I'll chip at my own bark
to keep your flame brightly lit
I've run from the very few
Who sought to win my heart
wary of misplaced affection
Not ready to fall apart.
well-acquainted with self-sabotage
She creeps up on me daily
With the daily dose of "lower your gaze"
"What-if"s "no way"s and "maybe"s
seen so few flourish from love
While most seem to crumble
Infatuation is a tempestuous thing
Delicate ground to make you stumble.
I think I know what I want
Even if it changes by the hour
Sometimes you flash through my head
Consistency I want to devour
It's your sunflower hair
And that needle-sharp wit
Idealizing you in my mind
To avoid finding a true fit.
Not much here to offer
Lacking beauty and boldness
Not much of a scholar
This brain a heaping scattered mess
But instead of seeking it elsewhere
Best to direct that love inward
Learn to respect my own self
Before my own self is withered.
