The Invisible Line

Prologue

I have everything, but I still want more. A perfect family and enough wealth are advantages that many people do not have, and I consider myself lucky to have those.

But, no matter how many times I convince myself that I am privileged, I still don't understand why I have a gap in my heart. I feel lonely, but I'm still surrounded by people I value. It's like I'm drowning on a shallow sea.

As soon as I heard our gate opening and our dogs barking. I slowly stood up from sitting on the sofa, waiting for my family—Mom, Dad, and Kuya— to open the door.

They've been gone for three weeks on a medical mission outside of town. They are all dentists who prefer volunteering to help everyone else. Hindi ko naman sila masisisi.

Bumukas ang pintuan at bumungad sa akin si Kuya na hawak kaagad si Bento.

"Kuya," I was about to mention something when he just gave me a glance and nodded before heading up stairs.

I felt a pinch on my heart. All I have to do is to understand that they're tired. Magmula sa medical mission hanggang sa byahe nila pauwi. Kailangan ko silang intindihin. Hindi naman siguro ganoon kaimportante ang sasabihin ko.

"You didn't get your stuff in the trunk, Solomon!" I heard Mom say as she walked through the door. Nakabukas na ang bibig ko nang tumingin sa akin si Mama with her usual puppy eyes and said, "Kindly get your Kuya's bags? Alam mo naman 'yun, tinatamad na kapag pagod." At umakyat din.

Para akong kinurot-kurot sa puso ko. Recognition at pinning of awards sa school namin bukas. Ni isa sa kanila ay hindi man lang tinanong kung anong hawak ko o kung anong nais kong sabihin. Things like this makes me want to not talk to them anymore.

Then it was Dad's turn to enter the house. He had this annoyed expression on his face when I turned sixteen.

"Aren't you going to get your Kuya's things? We're tired, Audelia." He said.

I gulped and took advantage of the opportunity to tell him. "Dad, can you come to our recognition tomorrow?" I hope he'll say yes.  "I almost got all the awards!" I exclaimed, forcing my tone to be as happy and proud as possible.

He cleared his throat. "You know that I am very proud of you, hija—"

"It's okay if you can't come. I understand that you have duties to fulfil." Hindi ko na agad pinatapos ang kaniyang sasabihin.

He should be proud, of course. I am his daughter. But he can't tell me that for three years in a row just to make me feel better before rejecting me.

Iniwan ko na agad si Dad at pumunta sa aking kwarto. Been in this position for three years, but I still cry, even though I expect their answers. Masakit pa rin sa akin.

I tried to scan my phone to suppress my emotions. The chat head of our group chat suddenly appeared.

"@everyone, may chika ako!" Maya texted.

Nanatili ako sa aming group chat at pinagmasdan lang sila mag-usap. Dahil na rin curious ako sa kung anong sasabihin ni Maya sa amin.

"Does anyone remember Audelia's chess opponent? The one where she was upset because he was too good?" Maya messaged once again.

I rolled my eyes and couldn't stop myself from interrupting her news.

"Yeah of course, you viewed me as a pissed off woman while he's too good."

"Are you referring to Salvatore? He's from the other town's public school, 'di ba?" Genesis butt in.

I remembered that day. I wanted my family to watch me represent our school, but then, sumabay ang graduation ni Kuya—which I don't blame, by the way. I was forcing myself to understand the situation, but it got worse because my opponent knew I was spacing out.

"Yes! Nalaman ko lang 'to kay Ate Mei since she's working at the academics office." referring to her sister.

Maya knows everything and everyone at the school. Whoever enters and exits, she knows their dirty little secret. It's a good thing she never speaks ill of them. Hindi niya rin ito kinakalat.

"I think he's a year older than us, right Audelia?" Genesis asked.

"I don't know. Maybe?" I replied.

"Bakit kaya siya lumipat? At kasagsagan pa talaga ng second semester, ah." Genesis questioned.

The conversation goes on and I turned off my phone. Gumana ang pagiging distraction no'n sa kung ano ang nararamdaman ko kanina lang. I'm a bit fine now.

I'm not interested in the guy they were talking about. I'm sure they'll have a thing for him, but they'll be reluctant to talk to him. On top of that, the three of us are in the supreme student government, we are required to welcome him in our school.