The Invisible Line

Chapter 4

With the weekend quickly approaching, I've been in a hurry as an officer. From assemblies to encodings and back again na kailangan ipasa sa Principal.

"We're having a prom?" Tanong ni president.

"Yes, the principal gave me a note awhile ago. Ilagay ko raw sa ginawa nating school calendar." I replied, still busy looking at my screen, not fazed to her presence.

"Mga teachers ang gumagawa dapat niyan ah? O kahit ako? Bakit sa'yo binigay?"

This is when I finally turned around to look at her, who had been occupying the vacant chair beside me. "I don't know. He thinks you're busy since gusto mo makapasok sa prestigious university kaya hindi ka niya kinukulit." Sagot ko.

Totoo rin naman. Matalino kasi itong president namin. Gugustuhin niyang matabunan ng workloads pero inaalala ng buong faculty at ng principal na baka stress lang ang abutin nito sa kaniya. Because she wanted to study at UPLB.

We're in the same situation. Both of us are trying to reach the goals we've set. . Kaibahan nga lang ay siya, desidido na sa kukunin niyang course at ang university. Habang ako ay wala pang plano. One more year, and I'll be moving on to the next chapter of my life.

They say I need to follow the steps that my family pursued. I have no interest in their passion. I hate being the person working in a medical field. I never found myself working at a hospital—not even on a medical mission.

Being a doctor, in any field of medicine, takes up your time to focus on yourself. Kailangan mong unahin ang ibang tao dahil umaasa silang mapapagaling o matutulungan mo sila. I never hated the idea of helping others, I just hated the idea na mas kaya pang paglaanan ng pamilya ko ang pansin nila sa ibang tao kesa sa akin.

Am I being self-centered? Siguro.

Do I want their attention? Sino bang hindi? The last time that they did that was when I was fourteen, despidida party ng family ni Carla at nirequest ni Lola na kumanta ako habang pinatutugtog ang piano.

After that, I've been desperate for their attention kasi bigla nalang ito nawala na parang bula. At ako naman ang naging anino sa kanila. It was painful to see that process, to even feel it was crushing me.

"After finishing that, make sure to check on our booth. Doon nalang tayo mag-usap. Thank you for your service, Audelia! Mahal kita!" She said and kissed my cheek to bid her goodbye.

I sighed. Pakiramdam ko pasan ko na ang problema ng mundo but then I realised, maybe this problem that I have is just the smallest thing, baka ang iba ay may malaki pang problema kesa sa akin.

Am I really manipulating my feelings just so I could forget what I really feel?

Ang gulo mo na Audelia!

Pagkatapos kong gawin ang lahat ng pinapagawa ni principal ay dumako ako sa parte ng org building kung nasaan ang lahat ng printer na pupwedeng gamitin.

Habang hinihintay ko na matapos ang aking piniprint ay pinagmasdan ko mula sa bintana ang mga booths na nasa ibaba. Magkaharap lang ang Beatrice at Org building kaya madali lang makita ang mga taong nagsasaya sa mga booths na itinayo ng iba't-ibang organizations.

What's scaring me the most is to leave this place. This atmosphere. Because I know it will change once we got into college. Kung stressful ngayon, what more pa kaya sa kolehiyo?

Masyado na akong nagooverthink sa magiging kahihinatnan ng school life ko. I need to enjoy.

"Uhhh..." Napahiyaw at lundag ako sa gulat dahil sa lalim ng boses na nasa entrada ng pasilyo.

Napahawak ako sa aking dibdib at napasandal sa dingding. "Please, knock on the door!" I shouted.

"I'm sorry, Ate." Aniya at narinig ko ang hakbang niga papalapit sa akin.