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poems and rants

Poetry

pretty much rants and poems by me. thanks for reading!! (it gets better the later the book goes lol) TW: ED, SH, SI, depression, anxiety and other things please don't read if triggered by these things.

#anxietyattacks #anxietydisorder #ao3 #deprivation #ed #my #mythoughts #poem #randomthoughts #rantingaboutlife #rants #sadness

therapist?

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by bloodytarantula

by bloodytarantula

my therapist asked me something about "what do you feel guilty about?" so I wrote this as an answer

by me,

I feel guilty about not drinking enough.

I feel guilty when I drink too much. like I'm taking it away from people who really need it.

I feel guilty for not eating enough.

I feel guilty when I clear my plate.

I feel guilty when my father says " just be grateful that you have that much" like it's my fault that I have more than I need and others barely have enough.

I feel guilty for being quiet.

I feel guilty when I'm loud.

I feel guilty for wanting things. "I don't need them," I say.

I feel guilty for getting gifts, "they spent too much money on me, I don't deserve it" I think.

I feel guilty for hurting because it hurts others too.

I feel guilty for feeling "too" happy.

I feel guilty for feeling "too" sad.

I'm not sure how I would feel if I didn't feel guilty.

Lighter, I guess.

So light, I'm afraid I would fly away.

thanks for reading

Onyx