When You Were Mine.

11

I don't know how this could of happened, I mean we were always very careful, every time. What if he leaves me and Rose and now the baby? What if he's had enough and just walks out? I can't help but let these thoughts run through my head. I know he won't, but a part of my brain is telling me he will and I believe it for a brief moment. The tears fall freely from my eyes as I lean against the bathtub. I should be happy, I know I should be, and a part of me is, I love being a mum, but it derailed my life in so many ways, my pregnancy with Rose was far from Easy. I was on bedrest fir the last 3 months and it was horrible for my mental health. A knock comes to the bathroom door and i know it's Roger from the way he knocks. I let him in, it's better to just tell him now than to wait. "What's wrong love, has something happened?" He asks me, pulling me in for a hug. "Don't leave me." "Why would I ever leave you? Is that why you're so upset?" He asks me and I shake my head to say no, handing him the pregnancy test. His face goes pale and i don't know how he's going to react. I sit back down against the bath, Roger following me. "How? We were so careful." "I know, that's what I've been asking myself." "The odds are a mix of against and in favour of us, aren't they, I mean, it's going to be hard, and I'll make an appointment with the doctor for you today, just to make sure, i don't want you to get too worked up, and if you are, I mean, I'm scared, more than I've ever been in my life but we'll do it together, every step of the way, you me and Rose, okay?" He says, resting his head on my shoulder and grabbing my hand and giving it a squeeze.
"A part of me is happy, you know, babies bring so much joy, I know that, but i also know it's so much hard work, and I'm happy that I'll have you this time and hey, Rose will get a brother or a sister if I am." I say, trying to look on the brightside of it. "I also think it's time we tell Rose about us, especially now." I say to him, while moving to sit on his lap facing him with my knees either side of his hips. "I think so too." He says, kissing the tip of my nose. "When?" "How about now?" "That works." I say, mirroring the smile on his face and kissing him. "We've never gone official yet have we?" He says, pulling away and resting his forehead against mine. "We haven't." "Well, do you wanna be my girlfriend?" He says, laughing a little bit. "God I feel like I'm 15 again, course I do." I say, also laughing before kissing him again. "Let's go tell her." He says and we get up and walk out of the bathroom and into the living room to Rose.

This is the hard part. We sit down beside her. She climbs on to Rogers lap, I'm beginning to think she's gonna be a daddy's girl. "Honey, you know how in the cartoons you watch, the mummy and daddy are boyfriend and girlfriend?" "Yeah." She says  hugging the Teddy she's holding. "Well, what if we told you that your mummy and daddy are boyfriend and girlfriend." Roger says and as much as I hate baby talk  I find myself smiling. "Really?" She says excitedly.  "Yeah, really." He says and reaches for my hand. "So, do I get my own room now?" She asks us and Roger shoots me a look like he doesn't know what to say. "We'll see, honey okay?" "Yeah, can we watch snow White?"  She says and I laugh at how easily distracted she is. "Yeah, you sit here and we'll set up something nice and cosy for the three of us okay?" Roget says, placing her down and standing up and she nods.

Me and Roger make a few pizzas and some popcorn and set up the tape in the telly. After all the pizzas are eaten, Roger sits on the sofa and I sit on his lap, rose sitting where she always sits while watching movies, a little spot infront of the TV surrounded by cushions. The whole time, Roger is whispering silly jokes in my ear or little things about the future, like where we'd live, if we'd have a dog or a cat things like that, the whole time he has a hand on the bottom of my belly, the other playing with my hair. I don't know how I ever got so lucky.