Like Loving the Dead - Peter Steele

Hey Bacchus...She Hates Me...

Lizzy paced around the kitchen area of her apartment as she twirled her phone cord around her finger and listened to the phone line ring. She sucked on the inside of her cheek as she cradled the headset between her shoulder and ear as her heart raced hoping he'd pick up the phone.

It had been two weeks since her trip to Brooklyn that hadn't ended well. After their fight she and Peter headed back to his apartment. The tension was so thick between them it could be cut with a knife. She had escaped into his bathroom for some space to collect her thoughts. As she took a shower she choked on dry sobs but tears never came. She inhaled the steam of the shower deeply as she tried to calm herself down. She loved Peter, but he had really hurt her feelings thinking that she would ever cheat on him. But to be completely fair and honest, she doubted him too sometimes. She hated to admit it, but she couldn't really help it. She saw for herself how women would line up just to meet him at his shows, and she couldn't blame them. Then there were the photoshoots with models he would do that never sat right with her. She knew they were just for promotional purposes, at least that's what he told her, but would they ever truly be able to trust each other completely?

She knew she couldn't decide it alone. She knew they had to sit down and really talk and listen to each other, which was exactly what they had not been doing earlier that night. Both of them had been acting out of emotion. So she got out of the shower and dried off before wrapping herself in the towel he had given her to use. But by the time she had stepped out of the bathroom he was gone. One of his cats sat facing the door he must have just left out of.

She exhaled slowly as she changed into her nightgown and packed up her things as best she could. She had to leave the next morning no matter what. She just hoped that wherever he had gone he'd be back soon.

But he wasn't. Hours later she had been lying awake in bed when she heard him stumble through the door, cursing to himself. Her anxiety began to climb as she heard him shuffling around. She closed her eyes and pretended to sleep. She heard some rustling sounds before she felt the bed sink under his weight and she could feel his eyes on her. Still, she steadied her breathing and kept her eyes shut.

"Angel," She heard him barely breathe her nickname and she felt his fingers barely brush along the exposed flesh of her arm. She felt him lean closer. He smelled like wine. He had disappeared to drink some more but she had no idea where. He lingered there for a moment. She wondered if he'd try to wake her, but he didn't. She felt his lips graze her shoulder before he turned and flopped down onto the bed, causing her to bounce up on the mattress. It was almost ridiculous that she was trying to pretend to sleep with the way he was jostling the bed about. Still, he seemed to be too drunk to notice either way.

When morning's light broke Lizzy slipped out of bed, for once successfully unnoticed by Peter. She got dressed, brushed her hair, and packed up her last odds and ends before heading to his door when she saw him sliding a shirt down over his powerful torso. He turned to her, his hair slightly disheveled and stubble on his jaw that only made him look more ruggedly handsome, and his eyes were bloodshot from what Lizzy guessed was a combination of excessive drinking and a lack of sleep.

"Were...you not even gonna say bye to me?" Peter asked, his voice nearly broke as he looked down at her.

"I didn't want to wake you," Lizzy responded softly as she stared back up at him.

Peter's eyes searched hers frantically for a moment before he asked, "Lizzy, what are we doing here? Are you...?"

"I think..." Lizzy  inhaled a shaky breath for a moment as she swallowed and tried to hold his gaze, but she wanted to look away, "I think we both need time to think about what we really want."

"You, Lizzy! I don't need time to think about that! I want you!" Peter's eyes went wide as he went to reach for her but Lizzy flinched back from him. A wounded look filled his eyes as he stared at her and his outreached hand, "Are you...afraid of me?"