The Ghost Whisperer

part 25

Ever since I was a little girl, I felt like I was different. Not talking about seeing ghosts, but feeling somewhat...abnormal. it's this fact that made it hard for me to approach people.

Mom and dad were always there for me. To me, they were the best parents one could ever have. I hated being alone. I felt like my parents are the only ones who truly accept me for me. I was a shy kid back then. Making friends was a dream of mine. Being able to fit in. Enjoy with others. Having friends who get me and like my parents, like me for being myself. I just found it hard to approach others and talk to them, afraid of being rejected. It was my dear grandmother's death that really shook me. I cried a lot. I waited to see her ghost too but never saw it. I had realised how fragile life is and one day my parents will be gone too. It really scared me. It was also the thing that got me into photography. I wanted to preserve everything in pictures.

When in middle school, I was over the moon upon making many friends. I was finally one of them. But...those friends happened to be Irma and her gang. After that whole incident with me ending Irma's life, I realised something very important. That being friendless is better and family is what I should be thankful for.

I was beyond devastated when they died in a car accident. I was all alone. It hurt so much. I became a shell of myself. I knew that the more I attach myself to people, the more lonely I'll get and the more it would hurt. I never tried to get close or bond with my aunt who lives in the upper house of the duplex. Life had taught me many things. It had made me learn the hard way. That being alone...is how I'm supposed to live and that getting attached to people will only make things worse.

I learnt that lesson, so why...why does my heart hurt so much and I feel like crying my eyes out as Alex stands before me with a sad smile.

I hide my face with arms and look at the ground as tears flow down my red face.

"Come on, you won't even look at me now?" He laughs and I see him come near me. I sob quietly, refusing to look at him. I can't...I can't handle this...

"Lisa...look!" He suddenly appears before my eyes making a silly face, trying to make me laugh. I close my eyes and wipe the tears away. There's no way that I'd laugh in this situation.

"Just...go...please...I don't...I don't wanna see you." I say to him with a crack in my voice.

I really really don't want him to go...as hard as it seems, I have to admit it. I love him. I love him a lot that seeing him vanish out of existence is unbearable to me.

He steps back "Your actions are totally different from your words" he laughs.

"If you already know that then leave!" I yell frustrated.

He stays silent for a few seconds then says softly "I want to see your smile, Lisa"

I look at him with a dumbfounded expression.

His hands have already turned to gold dust and his feet have also disappeared.

"I'm sorry...I just can't" I cry and turn towards the car ready to go inside.

"I wish...we had met when you were alive" I utter as my hand grips the cold handle of the car door.

"I guess that's my fault. If I wasn't a coward, it would have happened." He says sadly. I blink and look back at him, confused.

"What? What do you mean?" I ask as I turn towards him.

He sighs and looks away, embarrassed.

"I knew about you when I was alive. In fact...I kinda had a crush on you" he says as his face turns red.

I stand before him, surprised. My mind rushes with a million questions. I could only gawk at him as he proceeds to talk.

"I saw you outside your high school. You looked...cool. Like someone, I wanted to be friends with. I may sound like a creep but I followed you sometimes, trying to find the courage to talk to you. At some point...I guess...I started liking you. But hey, I guess that doesn't matter anymore." He tries to hide his intensely blushing face behind his invisible arms. The tears in his dark eyes tell a lot about his emotions.

Cute

"Alex..." I step towards him. Even though I feel a little happiness at the fact that he feels the same way but it...really doesn't matter anymore now that he's going to disappear.

"I'm sorry," He says with a crack in his voice.

I lift up my hand to touch his face but as expected, it goes right through.

He looks up at me with sad eyes. He doesn't wanna go and I deeply don't want him to leave.

"Do you regret making me help you?" I ask him. He's almost gone now. His head and chest remains.

Smiling sadly, he answers

"Not at all. I just regret being a coward."

"I want to touch you right now," I say as more tears fall down from my eyes and I frantically try to hold him but to no avail.

"Lisa. After this, make sure you do the right thing. If your heart tells you it's wrong then trust it. Don't live your life with regrets or they will just eat you up from the inside, ok?" He says.

"No...please..." I sob and fall to my knees. When he doesn't say anything after a few minutes, I look up and see the last of the golden dust flow into the air.

He's gone now.

I stay there on the ground for a while then get up and drag myself to the car.

Somethings wrong. It feels like he wasn't the only one that vanished. I feel so numb inside.

Opening the door, I get in and start the engine. I never realised how lonely I was until he's gone.

I want to go home. I want get away from all of this.