Haunted

Chapter 6 §

The voices continued. I kept fighting. I kept going. I had to keep going. I had to.

I tuned out the voices. It was the only thing I could do. I tried to think of something else. Anything else.

I tried keeping my thoughts on Carson, on how I was the only real family he had left.

I tried keeping my thoughts on Zach, on how much I loved him.

I tried keeping my thoughts off Shanna, it couldn't help me win this fight.

But her words from my dream popped into my head despite my effort.

It's your fault!

All my life I have been telling myself those exact same words. It was my fault. It's my fault my father's dead, which means it's my fault my mother turned into an alcoholic, which means it's my fault my brother grew up like this.

It was all my fault.

It is your fault, the voices persisted.

Make it end.

End your suffering.

End their suffering.

They don't need you.

They don't want you.

Just let go.

For the first time, I started to consider what the voices were saying. I was more harm than help half the time. Zach could take care of Carson. They didn't need me. In fact, they were probably better off without me.

I let go.

-----
Age 13
I closed my locker at the end of the day, only to find the boy from that morning standing behind it.

I squealed and almost dropped my books, but caught them just in time.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I just..."

He looked guilty for startling me. I was about to say it's okay, that it didn't scare me that bad, but then I remembered that I was supposed to be mad at him.

"What do you want?" I snapped, immediately regretting my words.

"Your mad," he said softly, almost in a whisper. He looked so ashamed. He looked so...sad? Why would anybody possibly care about what nerdy, shy Makayla thought?

He cleared his throat. "I came here to apologize."

I blinked. I'm dreaming. I have to be. There is no way this is happening. This cute, nice, popular boy was apologizing to me?

"Your...aologizing?"

"Yea," he responded. "I'm sorry for this morning. I would've helped, but I was a little caught off guard. Tanya's..."

"A brat?" I offered.

He grinned. "Yeah, a brat."

I smiled, then remembered once again that I was supposed to be mad. At that point I didn't care. It was impossible to stay mad at this boy.

"Can I walk you home?"

I fidgeted. Did I want him to meet my mother?

I took a deep breath, tried to stay calm, but on the inside I was panicking.

After standing there for what felt like hours while he stared at me, I finally made a decision.

"I would like that."

I don't know what it was about Zach. His looks, his kindness, his personality. But I just had this lingering feeling that one day he was going to turn my life around.

-----

Mak.

This voice was different, familiar.

Mak.

There it was again. "Daddy?" I called, surprised to hear my own voice in the darkness.

Hold on, baby.

No way. That's impossible. My dad is dead.

Something grabbed my hand, pulled me away. The hand felt so familiar. My father's hand.

The hand felt bigger than mine. It felt rough, strong. It gripped my hand tight.

"Daddy?" I called again.

Shhh...

He was pulling me away. Out of the never-ending darkness.