Chapter 13 §

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So how did the doll get stuck on the roof in the first place? She flew.

Well, she didn't actually fly. I was on the balcony, throwing her up and down, up and down. My father sometimes does the same to me. On the ground, of course.

He'd put his arms around my waist, lift me above his head, and throw me in the air before catching me again. Up, down. Up, down. Never once did he drop me.

It made me feel like I was flying. And if I could fly, why couldn't Leah?

Then I threw her up too high, and she disappeared over the edge of the roof.

My dad had given me the doll when I was born, and I'd had it ever since. I couldn't just let it go.

It's kind of funny. My dad fell to his death because I couldn't let go of the past, and now I was about to die the same way, for the same reason.

My heart was somewhere in my throat as I dropped, the wind rushing by, whistling in my ears. Heat radiated off the building next to me, and it smelled of smoke. I couldn't see my former home burning, though; my eyes were squeezed shut.

And then, I stopped.

All the air whooshed out of me at once as I landed on my back, and for a split second I was in my fathers arms. And then he launched me back up into the air.

This time, I wasn't falling. I was flying.

Up, up, up. I hung in the air for a moment, and then I plummeted back down, into my dad's embrace.

Up, down. Up, down.

Finally I landed. For one blissful moment, I forgot everything, and just enjoyed being safe in my father's arms.

Then I decided to be stupid, and opened my eyes.

The doll was somehow still in my arms. I clutched it tighter. Around me, sirens blared, lights flashed, and hands wrapped around my arms.

They pulled me back roughly, until my feet slid over the edge of the trampoline.

So it was a trampoline, not my deceased father.

Someone scooped me into their arms, and my head bobbed against their chest as they ran...

And then everything exploded.

My vision burned red as the building that was once my home was engulfed in flames. I looked up ten stories and found my mother smiling sadly down at me before she, too, disappeared within the flames...

Slowly, the wall of fire, the shouting voices, everything faded to black.

Shouting. Laughter. Me, racing after my little brother. My boyfriend, dragging behind and teasing us. Normal things.

I remembered this. The hospital parking lot. Behind me, the place where I made an impossible recovery from a surely fatal head injury.

But I wasn't focused on that. I was only focused on the moment, the one spark of normality in my life. The one moment of peace. I focused on Carson, sprinting to the car. On his laughter. On the sun, washing everything in gold.

But then the sun disappeared, and my world fell to pieces.

The sky darkened. Wind picked up, swirling my hair around my face. The laughter faded. The shouting started. Thunder crackled.

"CARSON! Carson! Carson. Carson..."

Zach. There were tears in his voice, and as I slowed, I realized why.

Carson was gone.

I spun in a circle, but there was nothing. No car, no hospital, no Zach, no Carson. Nothing but an empty parking lot, and I was completely alone.

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