COWBOY LIKE ME | kaz brekker

𝐯𝐢𝐢𝐢. 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐥𝐞

( 𝘨𝘪𝘧: 𝘬𝘢𝘻 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘻𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 )

𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐂 began to settle itself in Azure Graves' ribcage, though she tried not to let it show. Heart drumming in her chest, she paced around the castle trying to find Kaz. She tried not to assume the worst - that he had been discovered as a fraud, locked up, beaten up, worse. She shook her head, trying to focus. No, Kaz could look after himself. She hoped.

But his absence was making her jumpy, if not frightened. It was hard to tell how much time passed since Kaz's departure, and it seemed strange he would just disappear without a word, leaving her to defend herself. Yet, she had to remind herself, he had already left once without remorse. What stopped him from doing so again?

It was then, lost in thoughts, that Azure heard a shout of anger. All senses heightened, she rushed into the room and found herself in some sort of balcony. And it was peering down that she finally found Kaz, blood dashing down his forehead, and locked in some sort of fight. Kaz was pinned down, sword pointed in his face, making fear crawl through Azure's veins.

Swearing beneath her breath, Azure searched through her bag for a way to help him. There were several throwing stars, a knife, and what felt like a chain of sorts, hidden at the back of the bag, but it wasn't enough. And even if there were something more effective, Azure didn't know how to use them.

So she had no choice to resort to her specialty: poison. Grabbing some darts she had prefilled earlier, she prayed she wouldn't miss and threw. It hit the man attacking Kaz, his movements become sloppy before he dropped to the ground with a twitch.

A confused look glaced over Kaz's eyes before he looked up, cold eyes meeting hers, and for a second, Azure thought he looked relieved. But it was quickly replaced by one of concern, as a hand clamped down Azure's mouth and pulled her back.

She bit down a yelp, struggling beneath the stranger's grasp. "Stop moving, you bitch." he hissed in her ear, fingertips digging into her skin. "You're a traitor of Ravka; you're going to pay for that." 

Having a leftover dart from before, Azure wriggled enough to stick it into her attacker's neck. It only took seconds for the poison to make its way through his bloodstream, his steps stumbling backward.

"Let go, you bastard." Azure spat, biting down on his hand. But his grasp remained tight, stumbling over the balcony and taking her down with him. A terrified scream rippled from her throat, her hand managing to grab on the banister. The loud thud of her attacker's body landing on the ground made her wince, as she glanced down at the height and gulped.

As her hand slightly began to slip, a gasp trembled from her lips as she realised Kaz was watching her, expression unreadable.  

"Kaz?"

Clenching his jaw, his gloved hand reached down to her and pulled her up. Once Azure was in safety, he shoved her away, turning to a side to hide the tremble in his hands. Memories flashed in his mind as Kaz squeezed his eyes shut, images of Jordie, of what he became, drowned his surroundings.

Gasping to regain her breath, Azure's pale blue eyes glanced at him. "Are you . . ."

Being snapped back into reality, Kaz shoved himself to stand up with the help of his cane, walking away from her without a second glance. Confused, Azure scrambled to stand up, following him in a haste as her skirt flowed behind. "Kaz, wait —"

"Don't ever do that again."

Azure stumbled unsure, perplexed by the anger in his voice. "What, save your life? Geez, a simple thank you would do."

Kaz turned to stare at her, calculating eyes observing her as if she was the confusing one. "Why did you do it?" at Azure's confused frown, he added "You could've leave me to die. I'm sure that's what you'd prefer."

A flash of hurt crossed through her features, though she tried not to let it show. After all they'd been through all over again, this is how he treated her? As if they were merely acquaintances doing a job? Maybe that's what it was to him. "I could ask you the same question — why did you help me up? You could've just left."

Again. The word hung between the two — Kaz knew it was what she was thinking of, even if she didn't say it. 

Clenching his jaw, Kaz was the first to break their gaze. "It was terrifying watching you fall. I'm not used to fearing for you. I felt angry."

His words took away Azure's breath as she stared at him, a complex puzzle she couldn't fix. Her smile quivered slightly, and she wished she could reach out and wipe the blood from his face. She would never, though. "Us mortals are fragile, after all."

"Not you." he negated her, cold eyes crashing into hers with such potency it nearly made her stumble back. "You never break."

I did once, she wanted to say. When you left. But that wasn't entirely true, for she was there, by his side once again. She cursed herself for her lack of ability to walk away. 

Words dying in her throat, Azure cleared it and turned away, hiding her trembling hands. "We should go, reunite with the others. There's no chance of us kidnapping the Sun Summoner now all the guards are aware of our presence."

But little did she know she was wrong — for Alina had crawled into the same carriage that Jesper had stolen.

And the thought should've made Kaz feel glad, at the promise of money in exchange for the magic girl. Yet he couldn't get the thought of the consequences out of his mind. Without this heist, Azure had no reason whatsoever to stay in his company. 

The thought of her leaving scared Kaz. He wondered whether the memory of her would be enough. Yet he knew it would never be. It hadn't been enough those nine years they had been separated. It would never be enough, and he knew this.

Little did he know, time might have decided to be on his side for once in his life.

i'm back! shocker, i know. but i've got many ideas for kaz and azure for s2 and i just hope it gets renewed or i'll cry