RIGHT IN THE FEELS (a compilation)

Ugly

"I liked you, really liked you. And you hurt me. Thought we had something, but you ended us before we even began."

I nodded, because I know that is what happened from your perspective. That you believe I suddenly backed off and went back to my shell because that's what I do, right?

"You knew me," I whispered, trying and failing to keep how vulnerable I feel, but you needed to hear this. What went wrong, from my end. "You knew how damn hard it is for me to trust others. But still, I let you see me. I thought you'd understand. You were supposed to be the one who understand. You made me believe that you would."

"What do you mean? Did you feel unseen? How exactly have you felt misunderstood?" you asked, your voice traced with concern the way you used to. So now, I refuse to look at you.

"I let you see me. And you only loved the pretty parts. You loathed the ugly bits of me. I saw it. You brushed it off as if it isn't a fraction of who I am. It's like, in your head, you patched up only the pretty, nice things, and discarded those that aren't. Well, I am made of more unpleasant things. And you brushed me off," I paused, feeling my throat constrict every minute. "I was trying to learn how to love every part of me. You hurt me too, by acting exactly how I expected everyone else to be when they see everything of me. Everyone else, but you. You cannot accept I wasn't the exact idea you had of me, and that's how I knew."