Denial || RavenAsh

II

All of my jokes are
Based on personal experiences

Whatever that means

"Did Ash say anything about wanting to come down and... talk?" Abyss asked.

"No" Raven replied, dryly.

"I expected as much" Abyss said.

Back to business. Cres, Raven and Abyss are now planning world domination.

They also could negotiate for Moon to be the new ruler... but that'll be discussed after they deal with Dark Enchantress.

"So who do we recruit... actually how do we deal with Pomegranate?" Asked Cres. "You know how much of a... simp... she is"

"As if you aren't one yourself" Raven thought. Cres: Abyss simp

"You're right, dealing with her is going to be a pain in the ass unless we have evidence of the Enchantress wanting to ditch all of us" Raven said. "Unless we kill Pom"

"Woah woah woah, let's not jump to manslaughter THAT quick" Cres said "Let's consider our choices"

"What choices do we have?" Abyss asked. "I can only think of the two you just mentioned"

"...Yeah, you're right" Cres agreed. "Do we... kill her?"

"I say no" said Abyss "Not now at least"

"She would be hard to kill if we decided to try... unless we do a sneak attack but I don't know the chances of success of it" Raven added.

After a long discussion, they decided to negotiate with Pom. But first, they need evidence.

Honestly, there's a simple solution to this: Use Ashie as bait.

The solution is simple.

Make him wear FS cosmetic, trick DE into thinking he's still FS and not... corrupted and help him escape when he's alone.

And after that, convincing Pom should be easy.

However, this plan comes with an issue... technically there's like 59 other issues but this one's the biggest one: Ash's the bait so how in the huggly wuggly fuck are they gonna convince Ash to help them.

I mean, he seems like a reasonabme bait since everybody will think that he's a dumbass.

"Raven, flirt with him" Cres suggested.

"What the fuck" Raven replied.

"Flirt with him! It's the easiest way, trust me. If you flirt with him enough and get him to like you, he'll help" Cres explained.

"I'm not gonna fucking flirt with him, I already told you that I want nothing to do with him" Raven said.

Then he realized how wrong he was.

Not only does he like Ash, but he also wants to bang him... But Raven quickly dismiss the thought, it was fucking STUPID.

...

Here comes the 5 stages of grief but make it love.

Stage 1 - Denial

No, Raven doesn't have a damn feelings towards Ash... maybe. He told himself that constantly after purposefully pinning down the pile of ashes.

This is probably just temporary feelings, he'll be FINE.

"Oh come on, back when you were the green cabbage motherfucker you had feelings for him" Cres said.

"I'm not that naive little guardian anymore" Raven argued.

"But you must have some sort of... feelings left, right?" Abyss asked.

"No, if anything, I feel disgusted just by the mention of him" Raven said.

"Uh huh, really? You sure you didn't feel some sort of... y'know... just a moment ago?" Cres aske, practically asking Raven if he was horny for Ash

"What the fuck made you think that!?" Raven asked.

"Have you just decided to sit down and talk with him properly yet? Maybe then you'll-"

"Tch" Raven cut off Moon "As if that'll help"

"Fine, fine, we'll just have to figure out ANOTHER way then"

They continued to talk.

Meanwhile, Ash looked down from the balcony above. He was also going throught the 5 stages of grief but make it love.

HOWEVER

For him to exit the first stage would take a long long long time as Ash refuses to look at the truth right in it's face: He's very gay.

Oh don't worry, the depression stage includes alcoholism.

Ash continues to brush off the feeling, thinking that it'll go away after 28 years of ignoring it.

Sike.

He caught himself staring at the purple cabbage again.

"I have a problem" he thought.

Clearly he just wanted to be pounded by Raven.

No doubt.

Pounded.

And not in the money way.

"I definitely should step away from this balcony" Ash told himself.

But he can't. It felt like he feet were glued to the balcony with one purpose of... lusting over the purple BITCH

After 18.38287374 more seconds of staring, he proceeded to step away from the balcony and completely lock himself from the outside world.

Unbeknownst to him that Raven was also looking at him.

No one noticed

Because mf has his stupid ass blindfold on and Cres was too busy flirting with Abyss to notice.

Gays being gays

Eventually Abyss said.

"Wait how are you guys getting back up again?"

"Yeah we were hoping you have a solution for that... ehe" Cres said.

"I do but it's gonna take me a while to find that book again... how about you guys stay for the night?" Abyss suggested.

"I'd be delighted" Cres was clearly trying to be extremely close to Abyss.

"Oh wait... I don't have guest rooms... hmmm... I didn't think I'd have guests so I only built 2 bedrooms..." Abyss replied.

"Oh it's fine, I can always sleep with you if you don't mind" Cres said with a very very slirty tone.

This left Raven with his worse fear: being right next to Ash.

"Don't tell me I have to sleep next to Ash" Raven said.

"Ehehehehehe" Cres laughed playfully. "C'mon, it's only 1 night"

Raven sighed.

"I'd rather sleep in the ocean" Raven mumbled. "I don't think Ash'll accept sleeping with me..."

"Oh no, I'll convince him, he'll definitely listen to me" Abyss said.

"You really do-" Raven tried to stop her but Abyss already got up and left.

A few moments later, she came back looking pleased.

"He said he'll let you" Abyss replied.

"How the fuck" Raven said.

"I told you, he'll listen to me" Abyss replied. "Although he did say to keep 6ft away from him or he'll put you 6ft deep... whatever that means"

Translation: "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME OR I'LL FUCKING BURY YOU 6 FT UNDERGROUND AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN" - Ash, Art of Trying not to gay

Raven knows

He's not making out of this as the same person he is right now

Someone call Wangsheng, there's a coffin discount, great deal, trust me, I buried my dead wife with the help of Wangsheng