A Dance Of Gods ✓

28. Concern

Taylor

One week. An entire fucking week since I've heard from Lucifer. He makes me feel the things he did in the span of a few days- and then he just disappears. Asshole.

The others come and go. Michael's been by twice to check on me but he's kept his distance. I'm making Elrinora and Obyzouth's orders right now. Rhea's in the back, cursing herself out over a lemon cupcake recipe that hasn't worked out.

I fill my time with work but it isn't enough since work still allows me to think, and all I can think about is him. With every day that passes my impatience grows stronger, my need to touch him greater. Fuck- he just disappeared on me. I have to believe there's a reason, but maybe there isn't. He is the devil. I AM mostly a human. Falling in love with him was my mistake.

  But the things he said to me.....

  The things he did to me......

  I knock apple syrup over, spilling half the bottle all over our counter.

  "You okay?" Rhea yells from the back and thank god( actually- no, don't) we're slow right now.

  "Yeah I'm...." I reach for paper towels and vinegar spray. "I'm fine."

  I spend ten minutes cleaning it up and go back to making Obyzouth's drink. I make a point of being extra slow and careful as I walk over to their table.

  They've seen him multiple times since he ghosted me. They must know what he's up to- though I'm not so sure I want to know.

He does care for me. I saw it in his eyes, or I just have the biggest imagination of all time. I tell myself he wouldn't have done this unless something happened, something big- but how can I predict the behavior of a six thousand year old being? Compared to him I am nothing. Maybe that's the issue. Maybe he's realized he deserves somebody better and as much as that kills me, I can't be mad at him. If relationships are supposed to be equal he'd do better with someone who has equal power, equal gifts.

  Hell, maybe this ghosting is standard practice. That's it- THAT'S what I'll tell myself so I survive.

I set the finished drinks down on their table and purse my lips together.

Don't ask it....

Don't ask....

Don't.....

"How's Lucifer doing?" The words escape my mouth. Elrinora's kicks Obyzouth under the table, shooting her a 'Don't you dare' look. "What?"

"Well-" Obyzouth starts.

"LALALALLALALA-"

"Will you stop that?" Obyzouth rubs her forehead. "She deserves to know. We think he's losing his power."

I tilt my head, making sure I hear her right. That's not possible. It can't be, and if it is...... I don't want to think about the implications it might have for us mortals.

"By losing his power....." I clear my throat. "Do you mean his control over hell or his gifts?"

"Both." Elrinora answers immediately. "His gifts. We're not sure. He just.... Appears to be getting weaker and we think you're the reason why."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh don't take it the wrong way. You connected with him in a way nobody else ever has. The second you two started being apart for longer than a few hours is when everything went to shit in his head. Him constantly thinking about how 'shitty' he is could cause his gifts as the ruler of hell to become nonexistent. The mind is a very powerful thing." Elrinora says.

"Then I must go to him.... Right? I mean if... if being apart caused that... won't seeing him.... Stop it?" Just thinking about him in pain makes my heart skip a beat. Since he's been through so much in his life I'd do anything to stop it. Anything.

Hell, I'd fucking chop his dad's head off and deliver it to him if I thought that'd help. After that, I'd tear Gabriel limb from limb. No- I'd strip him of all gifts and leave him in an Iron Maiden. After a few days I'd take him out of that, cut his wings off and beat the shit out of him. Over and over again. It's satisfying just to think about.

  "It's not that simple." Elrinora replies, her voice barely above a whisper.

  "Why not? Can't you just convince him to come see me then-"

  "He doesn't listen to us- not like that. We're just his.... soldiers and fuck buddies." Seeing the look on my face, she backtracks. "It has been a while. He hasn't touched anybody since.... you."

  "Either way I....." I try to justify it in my head. "He is the devil. I can't be surprised and.... I can't be mad at either of you."

"He is a lot more than 'the devil' and you know that-"

"Taylor can you come start the croissants?" Rhea yells from the back and all I can think about is how many people he's fucked and- "Taylor? You still there?"

  Fuck I need to quit.

  "Coming!" I yell back, shooting them an apologetic look.

  He's weakened...

  Weakened from being away from ME....

  So why am I worried about anybody else?

  A few weeks ago, I would've found a way to blame it solely on myself. I'd say I haven't been there for him enough or I didn't put out enough or I needed to change somehow. Now, I'm accepted that everything that goes wrong in a relationship is not automatically the woman's fault. I understand how hard it is to break a thousands year old habit and I did hear Elrinora say it's been a while, but there's that little voice in the back of my mind telling me it won't be long. That voice controls my subconscious, pissing me off for no reason. We haven't discussed being exclusive. Why would we? Why would I expect him to agree to that?

  I grab a giant container of vegan butter and almost have a heart attack when I close the fridge. "Jesus Rhea-"

"Seriously- what is with you? A guy? Two guys?"

"Uhm...I....No-"

  "Deny it all you want but I know this isn't just about the fire. I'm going to find out what's wrong with you and then I am going to be there for you whether you like it or not."

  I smile, but deep down I wish she'd mind her fucking business. Now more than ever, her need to be a good friend is annoying.

  I get through the rest of my shift and manage to get to my- Michael's apartment without incident, but the entire time all I can think about is him. My head starts going in directions it probably shouldn't when I plop down on the couch.

  I've been to hell before....

  It was almost unbearably hot, but surely I'd be able to put up with it for a few minutes. Everybody has told me my gifts could grow. Why can't they grow to include extreme heat tolerance?

  I stand up. If I can't make him come to me, I will go to him. I turn around and smack straight into a bare chest.

  "Why are you so worried about the actual devil?" His voice says, annoyed.

"How did you-"

  "I know things. That is my thing and you didn't answer the question."

  "You mean your brother Lucifer Morningstar the light bringer? I care for him and I would've thought you of all people would understand-"

  "Do you fuck all of your friends? Because he certainly does."

  I jerk away from him, shaking my head.

  "Go fuck yourself, Michael."