Part II: VI

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Even a worm will turn

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Even a worm will turn. Marley used to tell me that all the time. The expression, a favorite of hers she claimed to have gotten from the old man who lived in my apartment before me, was one she had used to make fun of me when we were little, and a way for Marley to remind me of what she thought of my passive disposition. Marley always said I was too nice for my own good. Too meek and acquiescent. But she always said that eventually, even I would turn. Even worms can only take so much. Everyone has a breaking point. Some of us are just better at hiding when we've reached ours.

"Izzy, come pick rooms!" Emma's shrill command had been the start of my unprecedented panic. The request, innocent and almost kind, should have sent the same spark of joy through me that I saw glimmering in my twin sister's eyes. But it didn't. Instead, a sharp twinge of fear and worry traced my veins as I turned towards her and the rest of my family that followed her. She stood on the stairs grinning at me, Finley standing beside her, his own childish excitement just barely more contained than his little sisters.

It should have been reassuring to see how happy and content they were here. If they can feel comfortable, why shouldn't I? Their happiness should have made me feel better. But it didn't.

Finley waved me over from the bottom of the stairs, a cheshire cat grin on his face. "We're gonna pick rooms then we'll take you out to the slopes." He said, glancing behind me, I assumed towards Logan, who I saw smile and nod out of the corner of my eye, a similar look on his face to Finley.

Of all my brothers, Finley and Logan looked the most alike. Most of the time, they looked more like twins than me and Emma did, which I supposed wasn't hard to do considering me and my twin looked almost nothing alike. I'd noticed a few weeks ago, while occupying myself with minuscule observations as Emma rambled on about some boy at school I couldn't care less about, that my sister shared a lot of features with our brothers, specifically the oldest two. With their matching blue-ish gray eyes and dark brown hair, it was unmistakable that they were siblings, and the rest of my family didn't fall too far behind either.

With the exception of Henry, of course, who as far as I could see didn't share much of a resemblance with any of our siblings. I suppose me and him had that in common at the very least. Neither of us fit the mold. But I doubted he thought about that fact half as much as I did. I jumped when I felt two hands grab my shoulders from behind. A spike of panic brought me back from my moment adrift as I tilted my head backwards to see Logan standing behind me, his expression more curious and scrutinizing than it had been a moment ago.

I realized quickly that I had gotten lost again. Although, one could argue that you can't lose what you've never found. I sighed, my gaze ticking from one sibling to the next, taking in their similar looks of worry, curiosity and confusion. Jace had appeared beside Finley at some point during my lapse, Liam and Nolan not too far behind him. My pulse quickened in embarrassment and frustration. They all watched me like I was a puzzle that couldn't piece together. I felt small under their gazes. Like a worm that couldn't turn.

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