I'm not like you

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Natasha POV:

Having to leave that place without my daughter was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I never thought leaving that place would be hard, but god if I only knew.

I truly feel like I've failed as a mom. I was supposed to protect her and I couldn't even do that. Even worse than failing as a mom, I failed Amelia. My little girl, was totally depending on me.

Once we're back at the compound the others went to rest. I can't rest until I find that little girl. I walk into the room where she was the day she was taken. Sitting down on her bed, holding onto Opal. She would never leave that teddy willingly. Well, she probably wouldn't do any of that willingly. After god knows how long, Yelena walk in.

"Natasha?" She asks. I look up at her. "Oh, I know. It's hard, but we will find her. There's no other option. We will. But, you have to rest, eat, perhaps shower?" She says the last part with a small smile. "You stink"

I give a small smile back. "Yeah.. perhaps. I just feel like I can't stop"

"I know, I know you Nat. You won't stop either, but you are no good to Amelia if you're dead. So you have to take care of yourself as well" she says then pauses. "If we make a plan now, then you'll take care of yourself and then we put the plan into action?" She comes and sits next to me.

"Alright" I say and look at my younger sister.

"So before we start looking. First we have to talk about the options about where she is" Yelena says.

"When they leave the door open, the girls don't come back to that room. So she most likely isn't at that facility. She could've been moved?" I suggest.

"Yes, but there aren't really that many facilities left" it goes quiet a bit.

"Oh no" I say when I remember.

"Oh no, what?" She asks.

"Yelena, when you were about that age, they need kids for a mission to make it as little suspicious as possible" I say hoping she'll catch on.

"Oh, she's in a placement... like we were" Yelena realizes.

"She could be anywhere in the world" I start.

"At least she's not in the Red Room. She'll be in a warm bed at night and be fed until we find her"

"Oh, you sweet innocent soul. Not every child on a mission is as lucky as us. We were placed with other younger kids, we bonded. If she doesn't get that, or she gets worse placement parents, it could be horrible. We will take forever to find her" I explain.

"You are right, but then the only thing we can do is hope that she got something like us. Something she can hold onto for the rest of her life, and so that she has it good until we find her" Yelena comforts me.

"Yeah.." I answer her. I get an idea, slowly looking up at her. "Yelena.."

"No! I'm not leaving you" she says.

"We search much faster if we can search by ourselves. If one of us starts now, searching databases for info about missions, checking those places. Then going out there checking it all out. I'll do the same" I say and pause slightly. "I promise to take care of myself for a few days first if you go today"

She looks hesitantly, but after a while gives in. "Of course. I'll do that for you. Just promise me we'll check in often"

"I promise. Do you need to eat and sleep first?" I ask her.

"No, I'm fine. I'll leave now, I have different places to sleep" she answers and hugs me. "We'll find her" she whispers into my ear. "Now, shower. You smell even worse by the second"

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