Broken Pieces

Chapter 3

I woke up today feeling more nervous than I have in a long time. Today is my first day going back to public school.

How am I suppose fo act? What am I supposed to wear? I don't exactly have any clothes I truly like. I haven't really been shopping this summer. I just have whatever would fit me at the thrift shop where Mary works. I grab a plain white tee shirt and a pair of slightly baggy light blue jeans. I then style my too short for my liking sandy brown hair and look in the mirror. It'll due I guess. Nothing I would ever pick out for myself though. I always preferred skinny jeans on me. I'm a tall, lanky guy, stuff like this wasn't made for me. But hey, if it makes me look straight, then so be it.

I grab a quick bite to eat then I'm out the door. The less talking I have to do right now the better, I'm sure I'll be doing enough of it throughout the school day.

I get into my grey Mazda and take the ten minute drive to the high school. I park next to a old beat up Honda that's in need of more than a good paint job. I stare ahead for the next few minutes, processing everything before finally getting out of my car and heading inside.

This is the most normal I've felt in almost four years. I'm almost 18 and this is my first time having a normal high school experience. It's almost surreal to think that this is what my life has become.

I just need to make through this year, keep saving up my wages from work, and after graduation I can leave like Matt did. I've already been busy looking up different scholarships that I can apply for. My pool is limited thanks for my schooling, but I'm determined to get out without being more indebted to my parents.

I get to the main office to get my schedule since I'm considered a transfer student. I get my class schedule and look at it with dread. Everything looks fine but the last class of the day. Debate. That class was my parents idea. They noticed that I wasn't very talkative or engaging in conversations like I once use to, so this was their solution. But it's fine, I just need their approvable for one more year. I can do this.

Like I predicted, my return was the talk of the school. My parents told the congregation the same bullshit story that they told Matt. Any way to get praise for shipping their gay son away I suppose.

Most of the day is spent answering questions in between classes. Explaining that I came back to public school to have a "lax year" before college. Lie. Telling people I barely remember how much I missed them. Lie. Saying how happy I am to be back among my peers. Huge lie. At least I've gotten good at lying over the years.

By the time lunch rolls around , my social battery is fully drained. I keep being touched and hugged, it makes me want to crawl out of my skin. One good thing so far was that Tyler and I had the same lunch period. He met me at my class and we walked to class together.

I haven't seen Tyler much since that faithful summer. I saw him in passing over the last few Sunday's in church, but I was never able to talk to him. He's gotten a lot taller, only an inch taller than me at a towering 6'2. His darker skin is even darker at the moment thanks to his summer tan. His curly locks laid on top of his ahead in a neatly messy type of way. His deep brown hair has now been dyed a bleach blonde color, it doesn't really suit him but he seems to like it ok.

We hit the cafeteria and we both sit down with his new group of friends. He's on the football and basketball team now, so, his friend group reflects this. I try to copy his outgoing personality, similar to the one I use to have, and try to blend into the new setting. It works and everyone welcomes me. It's sad how easily I can pretend now.

After lunch, I go to my locker for the first time all day. I only have debate left today, so I no longer need these others books. I see that I have the top locker, thank god. I did not want to bend down over and over to get books in and out. Being over six feet can be a curse in that way.

I'm almost done when I receive a tap on my shoulder, causing me to jump out of my skin. At least I'm clothed, if they touched bare skin, I probably would have screamed.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you! It's just, your legs are blocking my locker." The facless voice says.

"Oh! I'm sorry, hang on. I will move!" I quickly shut my locker and turn around, and there he is. Evan.

His blonde hair is now a bright violet that reached a little below his shoulders; with the exception of his right side, which is shaved. He has his ears, nose, and septum pierced now. He was wearing mostly black, save for his hair and a few pride pins on his jacket. He looked so different, and yet, I look into those bright blue eyes and know this is still Evan.

"Oh. I heard you were back." He says as his face and body stiffen up, hate quickly his eyes. Out of all the years that I knew him, I never saw him this angry. His features became hard as stone, making it very clear how much hate he was carrying for me.

Shit. Shit. Shit. This isn't good.

"So-sorry" I stutter out. He glared hard a me, watching me as I all but run away from the situation laid before me. I make a mental note to avoid going to my locker as much as possible for now on.

I make it to debate in one piece. Thank god. One class left for the day. I can make it. I can do this.

I look at the white board and see it says that seats are assigned alphabetically by first name. I scan the room of tables with two seats at each of them to find my name. Once I find my name; I sit down, look over and there it was. Written in black ink was the name Evan Grey. Wonderful. This is just wonderful. I barely managed to make it pass the locker problem, and now I have an entire class with him. I can't wait to see how this train wreck turns out.

Evan walks in, sees what is written on the white board, then sees me. He lets out a groan as he comes to take his seat. Once he gets to our desk, he makes a point to move his seat as far from me as possible. As we are waiting for the class to start, I can feel the hate and anger radiating off of him. I deserve this. Disappearing on him after everything was horrible, my fault or not, it still clearly effected him in a negative way. I just hope one day, he can forgive me.

The teacher finally arrives and begins class, and quickly informs us that our table mate is also our debate partner for the entire semester. I hear another low groan come from my once best friend, while dread bubbles inside of me.

She continues on with what she expects from each of us and the first assignment that we will be doing, that of course is due tomorrow. Just a quick and fast warm up assignment before the real work begins; or so she says.

I can't help but glance over at Evan, who is doodling in his notebook. Some things never change, I guess.

As the class drones on, I keep trying to muster the courage to say something, anything to Evan. Something to break the ice, especially since we are stuck doing an assignment together after class today.

Finally I say in a admittedly shaking voice; "it's um...it's good to see you, Ev." He whips his head over to me, eyes slicing me in half for the use of his old nickname. Bad choice, duly noted. He studied me for a few seconds before replying. "Are you fucking serious?" He spits out. Ouch. "Yeah I haven't seen you since-" I stop what I was about to say very quickly as not to poke the angry bear. "It's just been a long time and it's good to finally see you again." I finally get out. Voice still shaky, but it sounded a tiny bit better than before. Progress!

He thinks on my words for a moment before giving me a little smirk. "It's good to see you too, then. I guess"