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I was running late.


The hall was filled with people I don't know.

I dragged my feet backstage. Not throwing glances nor attention to everyone who crosses my way.

My blurry view kept on being blurry as these tears kept on filling my eyes.

This is too much.

But I know, Jisoo..

Jisoo...

Fuck!

"Are you sure about this ,Chaeng?" Jennie asked as she fixed the piano for me.

"Yes. This is for Jisoo."

"We can just call it out---"

"I said I'm fine! I will do this! I will.." I bit my lower lip to stop myself from crying. "Please let me do this.."

Jennie tried to hug me but the MC suddenly announced my arrival.

I was late.

They let the other act perform before me and put me at the last number of the list.

They thought I couldn't make it but heck no.

Jisoo..

Jisoo pushed me and gave me enough reason to play the song..

She wanted to hear my Winter Sonata for the first time.

The crowd cheered as I entered the scene in front of my piano.

It was scenic.

It was dark.

The lights went low as the cheering crowds hushed themselves on their seats.

I took a deep breath as I looked at my mother with proud eyes set on me.

But I wasn't looking at her.

I switched my gaze to the seat reserved for Jisoo next to her.

"Jisoo.. I can finally play this song for you so listen carefully," I whispered as my fingertips started to roll above the keys.

I closed my eyes as I let my fingers play on it's own, not minding if I was out of tune or forgot a note.

But It was perfect.

I was in sync--my body, my movement, my emotion  and my fingers.

It's as if my fingers memorized each key.

The song, the pain, we are one.

I was in sorrow.

In a deep pit of pain that was ripping off my sanity and letting me picture Jisoo's face vividly in my head.

Her smile, her sweetest smile. The sweetest smile that never fails to warm my heart.

Her lips, those luscious lips that made me realize that she loves me.

I don't wanna open my eyes again as it was glued with crystal liquid that was flowing nonstop.

I don't wanna stop.

I don't wanna let this moment stop for I know, the second I open my eyes I will never see her pretty face, again, ever.

"Sa..rang..he.. Chip..munk," then she smiled, on cue as my finger pressed the last note..

She disappeared.

It took a couple of seconds before the crowd started cheering again as they all applauded me in a standing ovation.

I kept my eyes closed.

I wanted to feel her again but she's not coming.

I slowly opened my eyes and found everyone consciously wiping their eyes.

I guess I did it.

I grabbed the microphone that I snatched from Jennie's pocket awhile ago and turned it on.

The long screeching sounds were heard that made the audience stop and gave me their full attention.

"Good evening everyone. Let me take this opportunity to express my gratitude to everybody." They all stopped and looked at me.

I saw that Jennie panicked behind the curtain as I threw a quick glance on her.

"Winter Sonata was written by my ancestor with pain in their heart for failing to tell their loved one how much they love them." my father nodded, so was everyone.

"I never understand it. I never paid attention to the intensity of the emotions that were trapped inside this song until I lost her.." then I saw how my mother gasped in shock. My father just crossed his arms and looked at me.

"I lost her tonight." I clenched my fist, fighting my own tears.

"I lost her without her knowing how much I love her and how eager I was to dedicate this song for her, tonight, right here." Then I pointed to her empty seat.

"She's my number one fan. She was there all along, she watched me play this song over and over again.. though, I know.." I took a deep breath and exhaled the pain.

"She can't hear me," I saw my audience gasping again. Some are still wiping their eyes.

But my dad remained silent and calm. I don't care if he disapproves. I don't care.

I let these feelings out.

Once and for all.

"She can't hear each note, each tune, each movement or even every single word I say. Even if I shouted to the world, near her ear, it would never reach her. She will never hear me." then the tears started to fall again. As I remember the scene earlier.

"She didn't even hear the fast approaching car that took that sweetest smile."

"She can't even speak but she managed to learn those three phrases she always says to me.." I exhale again as if razor blades are cutting my throat.

"It's okay."

"Saranghe."

"My name."

"I thought offering my sonata to my deaf lover would be painful enough to play it but I was wrong. Losing you is the hardest, the worst, the most scrutinizing pain my heart never anticipated." Then I bow down and let my palm catch the tears that were flowing nonstop.

"But now, my heart is half empty and half happy for I know she's now in the hands of the angels watching over me tonight with her shiny wings." I gave a weak laugh.

"Finally,"

I filled my lungs with air and confidence as I held tight to my sanity. I held my head up and looked at the distant image, imagining she was there.

"I did it, chicken! I played it well! I played it perfectly.. I played it for you! Did you see it? Have you heard of it? Are you....are you..proud? I know you are." I shouted.

Damn these tears.

"Jisoo! You can hear me now right? I can finally shout my feelings for you. I can now be so sure that finally, my words will reached you. You aren't the only one who is in love chicken! I love you all along! I love you everyday but I failed to translate it using your words."

I fell on my knees as my heart gave in. I pressed down on my chest as I crouched on the stage floor.

"SARANGHE KIM JISOO!"

Sorry love, I was late...

I was..

Then my phone rings..

"C-chipmunk?"

Is this for real?

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