Contemporary

Chapter One: Most Wonderful Time

Flashback
Three years before the auction

I woke up to Rafe holding me tightly in his sleep, like he was trying to keep me hostage. The dim light from outside peaked through the curtains. New York is awfully cloudy and rainy lately. My shifting upon waking up seemed to wake Rafe up too.

"Why couldn't you just stay still?" He groaned against my hair. I drank too much judging by the fact that I'm letting this happen...again. He sighed heavily before releasing me from his arms. He turned over onto his back as I moved and sat up.

"I might not have woken up if you hadn't shackled me with your grip." I half-joked. Rafe let out a soft chuckle as I stood up, walking into the bathroom. I leaned over the vanity, taking in my appearance. My makeup from the night before smeared across my face, my hair knotted and my lips dry. The mess across my features remind me of the mess I left in that bed. Rafe walked up behind me, leaning against the doorframe.

"You look beautiful, you know." He smirked. I shot him a glare as we locked eyes through the mirror. "What?" He questioned.

"Rafe, let's not. Last night was just a hook up, and quite frankly a mistake." I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. He cocked his head at my words.

"Oh come on, don't act like you didn't enjoy yourself. The way you acted last night..." He trailed as he got close to me, snaking his arms around my waist. "You wouldn't think it's been years." He practically growled against my ear. I turned around to face him, pressing my palm against his chest to create a breath of space between us.

"I'm serious." I pressed. He backed off of me, seemingly defeated. He glanced off into space above me, obviously thinking through something. He didn't look like the Rafe I once called mine. Stubble stained his jawline, and his hair was quite long for him. It draped messily across his face, giving cover to the bags under his eyes. Far from the pristinely groomed man he's always been.

"I love you, you know that right?" He almost whispered. I locked eyes with him, seeing how serious he was.

"I'm not doing this again." I groaned, pushing past him and back out to the room. I grabbed the hotel robe I had draped over the chair situated in the corner. I wrapped it around my body before pulling the curtains open. Rafe followed me out, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Listen, I know I fucked up back in Scotland. Clearly, I didn't fuck up enough for you to stop talking to me. Hell, this is the third time we've hooked up Mara. You obviously don't hate me as much as you try to pretend to." He said between his soft laughs. Those laughs always felt a little sinister, even when he didn't seem to be. He had a point though. Every time we got ourselves into this situation, he tried to win me back. I always reject him. I love Rafe, and I'm willing to admit that. On the other hand, I know Rafe isn't someone I could be with without it being entirely toxic.

I turned on my heel, nervously running my hand through my hair as I walked closer to him. I sat in the chair across from the bed where he sat.

"You're like cigarettes. You're addicting. You make me feel good and yet like complete shit, all at once. And I know that you're no good, but I keep relapsing. You and I aren't good for each other. Rafe, frankly, you just aren't good for me." My voice shook and my eyes watered as I finished my little speech.

His jaw clenched and he rubbed his hands on his thighs. Rafe took a deep breath before standing up. He sort of paced around the room. His silence frightened me more than anything. Rafe is a lot of things, but quiet isn't one of them.

"You know what? I'm sorry. You won't have to worry about this happening again." He almost mumbled, picking his clothes up and slipping back into them. I sighed, fidgeting with the end of the robe. I felt uncomfortably awkward. Rafe has never been one to necessarily treat me the best. Hell, I could do a whole lot worse to him and it still wouldn't compare to how I felt when I left that cathedral. Despite that, I felt terrible for letting him down...again. I've never given Rafe a second chance. Something tells me my instinct is right with that one.