east of eden 𑁋 salvis.

XII

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Travis was luckily let out the next day, though he knew it was only because he had school. He also knew that hanging around Sal and the others was no longer an option, no longer something he could do. Kenneth was angry enough, if he were to catch wind of Travis hanging around the queers, he'd go insane.

So Travis decided, as soon as he was inside the school, he was gonna put those queers in their place. He walked over to where they all grouped together around Sal's locker, pushing them around and calling them names. Most of that experience, as most of Travis' life had been since coming back home, was a blur, and all Travis could remember was one of them-samuel-shouting "Cool. Stop talking to me until you decide to stop being an asshole."

Travis had just responded to that with a middle finger in the general direction of Samuel. He stormed away to his first class, slammed himself in his seat, and promptly regretted it, because God, that hurt.

He suffered through his classes, ate lunch in the bathroom, and then suffered through more classes. That is, until his last class of the day. Gym class.

Travis always despised gym class. He ran faster than most of the class, but often got pushed over to prevent him from doing so, since no one wanted to see him win. Not just that, but he had to wear his gym uniform, which was shorts and a short sleeve t-shirt. People always stared at his bruises, at the cuts. And they'd point. They'd never ask about them, which just made it worse. Because the kids just stared.

But of course this gym class was going to be even worse than usual, because Travis had a broken ankle. One that he couldn't get fixed no matter how bad it hurt, because in the condition he was in Kenneth wouldn't take him to the hospital. There would be too many questions.

Halfway through their first lap around the gym, Travis splits away from the group, out of breath and hardly still walking. His plan was to ask to go to the bathroom and then just never come back, because usually kids don't skip gym.

So he asks the teacher if he can use the bathroom, but it's almost like she can see through him. She calls over another boy, a more popular boy in the class, and tells him to chaperone Travis to and from the bathroom. The boy nods, and then they're off to the bathroom. Travis makes a point to walk slow, both for his ankle's sake and to stay away from gym longer. The boy next to him-Travis thinks his name is Tucker or something-looks at him a few times, but doesn't tell him to speed up.

The two enter the locker room, since that's where the bathrooms are. Travis pretends to take a piss, slowly washing his hands three times before he finally exits the bathroom part of the locker room to go into the main area-where the lockers are. Tucker's leaned against one, picking at his nails. That is, until he hears Travis come back.

An odd smirk comes onto Tucker's face. Travis stares awkwardly, he's sure he'll probably just get a slap or something since he's such a dick all the time. Instead, Tucker walks towards him and gives him a swift kick to the groin.

"Fucking faggot. I saw the way you were limping. Didn't think you'd take it up the ass, though." Travis tries to ignore Tucker's words, instead tries to focus on the pain as he receives a rough punch to the nose.

Suddenly Travis is on the floor, with pain in his ankle flashing up and down his leg. Seems like Tucker kicked him, the asshole. Travis grimaces, sitting up, but Tucker's faster than he is. Suddenly Tucker's on top of him, pushing Travis to lay down and holding his arms tightly together with one hand.

With the other, Tucker reaches down.

Travis, eyes wide, realizes what's about to happen. His eyes go wide and he shakes his head vigorously, he doesn't want this. Please God this is the last thing he wants please can the gym teacher walk in and catch them please. He knows if that were to happen he'd probably be expelled for having sex but Travis doesn't care he'd take anything over having to go through this please.

God's not too good at answering his wishes. Then again, when has he ever been?

-x-

Afterwards, Travis is left shivering on the locker room floor, everything hurting. Tucker hastily dresses and leaves as the bell rings, which means Travis needs to pull himself together or everyone'll see him right now. Tears stick to his cheeks, why did it have to be him again? Why him? Why does it always have to be him?

Travis slowly stands, and God does it hurt. Then again, everything hurts. He pulls his clothes back on, staring down at his wrists. They're red and sure to bruise, Tucker may be skinny but he's got a tight grip.

Travis sighs, trying to blink away the spots that cloud his eyesight from standing and hurriedly dressing. When was the last time he ate? He can't remember. Wait- no. Two days ago, at Sal's house. Yes, that was the last time he ate. The dinosaur nuggets.

Travis' heard aches for him to be back there right now. To be laying in Sal's springy bed, with a cat warming his feet and Sal shoved against him. Even if it was sort of torture, at the same time Travis enjoyed that situation a lot. Far too much to be healthy, probably. But he enjoyed it, and now all he wants is to be back there.

Travis sighs, looking up as the locker room door swings open and a familiar set of blue pigtails walks inside. Even if Sal identifies as a boy, the school is still supposed to keep him in the girl's locker room. But no one ever monitors the locker room. That's how Tucker managed to keep Travis alone for long enough to do what he did. And that's how he'll get away with it, too.

Travis feels lightheaded. The spots aren't going away like they usually do. In fact, they're just clustering in more. He feels hot and cold at the same time, and like he's going to puke. Or shit himself. Or maybe both.

Travis swallows thickly, leaning against a wall. This has never happened before. He's gotten lightheaded and seen spots but it always goes away after a minute. So why isn't this going away? Fuck, please go away. He doesn't know what's happening but he knows it feels like he's dying. Is he dying? Is he finally getting relief?

No, there's no way he's that lucky. Travis, against all odds, has basically been impossible to kill from the very moment he was born. He's been burned, stabbed, starved, so many other things. And still the worst to happen so far has been getting a concussion. Travis is convinced he can't die, which he despises. All he wants to die, so why can't he get that small thing? That one thing? Is that too much for God to give?

The dark spots are taking over. Travis feels simultaneously heavy and light, like he's weightless but also so heavy he can't keep himself up. It almost feels like he's falling asleep, but more uncomfortable. The nausea's deepening, is he going to puke? Yeah, he's so gonna puke.

The black spots take over.

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