untouchable | park seonghwa

-15

2016
LAST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL
JINJU, GYEONGSANGNAM-DO, SOUTH KOREA
MOON JINAH, 18

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BANG!

      Hitting my the side of my head on the corner of a bookcase in the middle of the library was really not the way I had intended my night to go.

      It's really not like I'm stupid or anything. I swear. But I'm just not good at studying these days. Sitting in the library for hours trying and failing to retain a single sentence of the textbooks I was rereading. In class I always understand but later its like someone scooped it out of my brain and hid it somewhere.

The textbook in my lap looks like garbled nonsense to me at this point. The more I read it the less it makes sense. The workbook for my homework looks like a foreign language even though it's my history homework. I rub my eyes to try and see better but my lack of sleep from planning the school festival in a month is driving me into insanity.

Hence the need for a tutor. Like, now. ASAP. But tutors feel so embarrassing to ask for. Admitting my grades are slipping when others usually come to me for help, is too humiliating. In my head, I know nobody really cares. But to me, Vice President of the school and 5th in my class right now, I'm scared I'll lose a part of something I like about the way people view me. But I know if I'm not careful I might be dropping out of top five within the next few weeks.

So instead I frustratedly put the book back in my lap lay my head here on the shelves of textbooks behind my head and wait for the knowledge to sink into my head like magic. Ignoring the bruise thats probably developing on my scalp.

7:30pm flashes when I check my phone a few minutes later, my eyes slowly open and close in a fierce battle to feeling awake again. When the blurry vision clears I fixate on the can of coffee and a candy bar from the vending machine with a little sticky note that says "For you. - S" For me?

I'm only one sitting on the floor of the library in the middle of the history section in the back, so I guess the only one it could be for is me. I peak my head out from my hiding spot to look if I know anyone who this could be from. Exam season is coming up rather soon so the library is filled with other students who are trying to steadily load information into their brain like me.

Only 5 people I know have their names start with S. Two of them I rule out rather quick since they made eye contact with them quickly and I know them to not be the type to leave something like that for me. One has a crazy girlfriend so there's no way he'd risk leaving something that thoughtful for someone else, even if it is just me. I text my other two friends from my class.

From Moon Jinah:

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Did one of you guys put this on my desk 🥺 thank you! I wish I could study with you guys without being distracted 😣

From Soobin:

Lmao, I didn't even know you were in here! We can share a chair over here!

From Sora:

Yeah wtf when did you get here? You can also have my seat since I'm going to leave soon to go to dinner with my girlfriend.