Center Chase

Chapter 18

Lindsey

I'm sipping on my second cup of coffee, lost in a daydream, when Taylor waves her hand in front of my face. I snap out of my daze and look across from me to where she tries and fails to hide her smirk.

"So, I take it you and Chase had fun last night? And this morning?" She's now full-on grinning at me.

I immediately feel the color rush to my face as I clear my throat. "We cuddled and watched a movie last night." I try to play it cool, knowing full-well that she will see right past my façade.

Her smile stretches wider across her face, "ah, cuddling, is that what people are calling it these days?"

I blush deeper, "yeah, cuddling...and making out." I bury my face in my hands, trying not to let her see my face. I don't know why I'm hiding like I've done something wrong. Because I haven't. Have I?

Taylor starts giggling. "You are too cute for your own good; you know that?"

I peek my eyes through my fingers, still feeling bashful about the confession I just made.

Her face softens, "you have nothing to be embarrassed about, Lindsey. It's pretty obvious that you two are crazy about each other. Own it! Bask in the afterglow of your love affair!"

I drop my hands and my jaw before I hiss, "we didn't have sex!!"

She puts both hands up. "I know, I know. I'm only teasing. You two made out, and I think that's great. The chemistry between you is off the charts. I'm just saying, own it, girl! He makes you happy; you don't need to be ashamed about that. Don't hide away. Let that smile shine!"

I think I know what she's getting at; I never used to be like this- bashful, embarrassed, timid. I had no problem letting myself feel things or talk about them with other people. It's just that, ever since things went south with Lucas, I shut down. I found myself constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. And I didn't have anyone I could talk to about things, so I forgot how to communicate with others. I honestly forgot what it was like to have a best friend to dish everything to.

And though things are going amazing with Chase, I can't help but sense the little shadow of doubt that's still lurking in the back of my mind. It's like a poison slowly seeping in and trying to steal the little bit of happiness I've let myself feel. I want to let it go. I want to be the person I used to be, happy, confident, fearless, I just can't, and I hate that.

"I just," I sigh, "I feel like, somehow, I'm unworthy of his attention, like I don't deserve to be this happy. I don't know. It's stupid." I avert my gaze to the table.

She looks at me thoughtfully, almost like she can read my mind. "Hey, I know you may not feel comfortable telling me what all happened before, with that asshat and your two-timing ex-friend, but whatever they made you think about yourself...it's bullshit. What they did to you was wrong. And that's on them."

I look up from the table to meet her eyes; she looks sincere. "You are such a good person, Lindsey, and any guy would be lucky to have a shot with you, Chase included, and he knows that. Girl, you are hot! And smart and kind and talented and so much more. Don't ever count yourself out."

She looks pointedly at me, "and never let anyone make you feel like you don't deserve to be happy."

I feel tears prick in my eyes; I think that's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a while, except for the things Chase has said recently. I'd forgotten what it was like to have a friend. I quickly wipe away a traitorous tear that escapes, but not before Taylor sees it. She immediately gets up and moves to my side of the table, and pulls me in for a big hug.