Nova

Nates Friend

the next day nate woke me up by knocking on my door and then coming in and kissing me on the forehead. he said "i have a couple friends coming over later today so just a heads up." i said "oh okay" he said "thats okay right?" i smiled "no no its fine its your apatment!" he frowned at me "its our apartment nova." we went out for lunch later and he asked how i was feeling i told him better than before but truthfully, the voice had quieted but hadnt stopped talking. i dont understand exactly why it started but ever since it did ive felt like a shadow. partly here but never fully, like an outsider. im never completely at peace, im always in an anxious mindset and everything feels blurry. 

Later that night when nates friends got there i was already in bed watching a movie  with fuzzy bunny pjs on. i guess i fell asleep because i woke up to some girl laughing. i grabbed a hair tie and put my hair in a bun, i opened my door to see nate laughing with her at first i thought i sounded crazy but their legs were touching and they were sitting right next to each other. nate saw me and came over putting his am around me pulling me to the group "NOVA!" "guys this is my roommate nova." roommate? thats it... okay. the girl on the couch looked like she was about to fall asleep and the two guys on the floor were dying laughing. one guy handed me something, nate grabbed it before i could and then he looked at me and asked "do you smoke?" i said "i never have but i dont have anything against it" he handed the cigarette looking thing to me and said "okay when i light this breathe it in." i did and it hurt like HELL. i handed it back to him and started coughing  so much i thought i was going to die. i told him i was going pee then i went to bed. the next morning everyone was asleep in the living room except nate he was up making breakfast. i walked to the bathroom and i heard the girl wake up "good morning babe" as i walked out i saw him kiss her forehead. my heart dropped. no way this is happening.