"I never forget your warmth. I'll be the winter flower, be the dancing star. I'll be by your side. I'm with you."
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We must be willing to let go of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
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Namjoon
I let out a groan as my right hand goes to my head due to the aching pain.
I drank too much again. I slowly sit up from the couch as I slowly open my eyes and look around my surroundings. The heater that is on is the only noise the fills the empty silence of this apartment besides the slight pounding that slightly beats against all around my brain.
I look down at my dark brown coffee table and see five empty soju bottles that I drank from the night before. I sigh as I get up and immediately fall back down on the couch due to how dizzy I feel due to the alcohol in my system. I ignore my dizzy and aching head as I get up with the help of the couch and walk my way towards the bathroom.
I open the door and turn on the light, immediately looking down at my green toothbrush that is next to a light blue toothbrush. A light blue toothbrush that hasn't been used for 598 days, now 599 days counting today. I immediately grab my green one and grab the toothpaste, rinse it with water before brushing my teeth. Trying my best to get rid of the smell that reeks soju.
I look up at the mirror and look at the dark circles under my eyes, realizing that I look unrecognizable but I shake my head as my tired eyes look up at my messy silverish hair that is standing up everywhere. I finish brushing my teeth and rinse out the toothpaste in my mouth until there was no more melted foam toothpaste. I then clean my toothbrush before rinsing my face with water. I turn off the water as I let out a sigh knowing I have to take a shower.
Despite the energy that is draining with each step I take, I head into my room and grab warm clothes knowing it snowed last night again. I take my clothes to the bathroom and put them beside the sink as I pull the curtain to the side and turn on the hot water before I begin to quickly strip my clothes off.
I enter the shower, feeling the burning sensation of the hot water hit my skin. I don't flinch from the pain as I slightly turn on the cold water to get to a decent temperature but still leave it hot.
I go under the water and immediately feel the water fall on my hair and soak up my dried messy hair and begins to fall downwards as it sort of eases my aching head. I run my hands in my hair as I look to the silver shelf where it holds shampoos, conditioners, and body wash. My still tired eyes land on the twinkling starlight scented shampoo and conditioner then look at the snow angel body wash, and the peppermint frost body scrub.
I've been avoiding using the shampoo and body wash that smells like winter scented. But in this moment, this will give me the relief and comforting smell that I need.
My shaky hands reach out to touch it but I retrieve them back as I shake my head. I shouldn't because it will just makes things harder the minute I inhale the scent that I've longed for to smell.
My hands reach out my male shampoo and pour some on my hands before washing my hair with it. I close my eyes as I scrub my head before rinsing it out the foam of the shampoo.
I clean my body with a gentle scented body wash and rinse myself before turning off the water. I grab my white towel and dry myself before getting into my grey sweat pants, plain white shirt and my grey warm hoodie. I then exit the bathroom and head into my room where I go into large shared closet and go to my side of the closet.
My eyes land onto a dark brown field jacket and I take it off the hanger and put it on as I have to head to work.
I don't bother to dry my hair, eat anything or take anything to ease my aching head as I go to the front door and grabbing my brown winter boots. Next to mine were slightly smaller black leather boots but I look away as I put my boots on, grab my keys and I'm already out the door, locking the door behind me.
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The entrance dings, letting me know someone has came in, I look towards the entrance and see two new people. Maybe a mother and daughter that looks around six years old. Their eyes look around unsure where they were supposed to start so the little girl turns to my way and sees me. She then drags her mother as they both come my way. I stand up and wait for them.
"Hi!" She greets me happily. I didn't want to smile nor felt like it but my heart tends to ease and warm at the sight of little kids. "Hey." I gently reply back to her while giving her a small gentle smile but falls when my eyes look down at the mother.
The mother looks at me and gives me an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, we barley move a week ago and she's been begging to read some books so I found this place but I don't know the rules or anything." She nervously says. I nod.
"It's okay, as you can see, that escalator that leads up, you can buy tote bags to carry your books and other things, they also have kids books up there and there is a reading area for those that want to stay and read their books after buying them. Down here, it's more for the adults books and there is also a reading area down here." I explain to her how this book shop works.
She then bows, which the little girl does the same. "Thank you so much." She thanks me as both her and her daughter walk towards the escalator and head up.
I sit back down in my chair and sigh as the little girl reminds me that I have to go visit Eunjoo and Yoongi. I haven't seen them for a whole two weeks due to me drinking everyday and I didn't want Eunjoo to see me like that, in that state.
My aching head continues to bother me but I again ignore the pain as I pick up my phone on the counter and turn it on. I unlock it and go to my messages and click on Yoongis name.
Namjoon Hey yoon. I'll come by today at your place after work to spend some time with Eunjoo.
I wait a couple of minutes knowing he's busy with his job at the music shop where he sells used or new instruments and music cds, basically anything that involves with music.
Yoongi Sure thing, she's been bugging me to ask when your coming to spend some time with her. Just wait for us at my place and I'll come when I get off of work and get her from my moms.
I nod to myself as I turn off my phone and pull out a book I was currently reading but stopped because I've been drinking too much recently.
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today is our namjoons birthday loves so here is the very first chapter to winter flower and hope you liked this simple chapter to start this off, look forward for future updates. :)
