i rest in inquietude

3:45 am

Haechan

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It's been a long, shitty day.

Groaning, you lean back in your chair, catching sight of the time on a slow, ticking clock on the wall. Your groan deepens at the sight of it, and you run your hands across your face. You don't care if you're being dramatic, you're too tired to care.

A dance practice first thing in the morning, then you had to head to the studio to work on your new album just days after your last one had dropped. Then it was off to multiple different locations, filming for variety shows, advertisements, behind-the-scenes content, etc. And after that, you were rushed to KBS for your weekly showcase on Music Bank to perform your new group comeback.

Now, here you are, stuck in KBS' studio fuming over the fact that you have to become the new MC for Music Bank. You suppose they've grown tired of Wonyoung and Sunghoon, but let's be honest they didn't have much hope after Arin and Soobin's reign before. And did they have to request you to take their place? Of all the other options they've had, were you really the best option?

What are you saying?! You respect your seniors and believe that each of them has their charms and talents if they were selected to be the hosts for a music show.

But when it comes to you...

You're the least favored member of your group. You aren't the best dancer, hardly the best singer, and by God, the world would be shaking if you could even speak coherent sentences every time you tried to act in front of an audience. You know the only reason you were accepted into your company was because of your looks, you're aware that you aren't nearly talented enough to match up to the rest of your group's potential, but it doesn't mean that you don't try. Every day you work incredibly hard to match up to their pace. To be at least decent at everything they are talented in so that you can keep up and you don't hold them back.

Does it bother you that other people more talented than you work their whole life to get where you are, but don't get the chance because they can't look the part? Do you feel guilty that most get plastic surgery just to fit the standards you were born with?

Does it matter how you feel?

"Oh come on, it's not that hard to choose a song."

Pulling yourself into the right sitting position you glare at Haechan from beneath your lidded eyes.

"Don't start with me."

He rolls his eyes at the sass as you pull yourself up from the position you were in once before. Though the two of you trained together, this little prick had the gall to go and debut before you did. To say the two of you stayed close over the years is an overstatement, but you know each other well enough to know that he is as annoyed about this situation as you are.

Neither one of you is cut out for this, and the fact that KBS and your managers thought you were the best choice just grates on your nerves. You already know you're going to be a letdown, but what if this time the hate is directed towards your members instead of towards you? You don't think you'll be able to live that down.

"I've got it!" At the sudden outburst from Haechan, you raise an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?" You can already tell by that glint in his eye that what he says next won't be serious, and you don't want him to waste your time any more than he already has.

"Ping Pong."

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

He rolls his eyes at your snap, but you're too tired to care. You're just glad the staff didn't decide to film this little meeting of yours because it certainly wouldn't have been pretty to edit and certainly wouldn't have helped your image in the slightest with the public.