Your Kind Hand

Chapter 6

The curse chapter is out!! This took me so long to write because I kept going back and fourth with how I should write it, and I hope it turned out good enough!! I wanted this to be a chapter I was content with, since I worked hard on perfecting it because I was unsure of how to go about this. It's so hard writing people's reactions to the curse when you don't see it on screen LMAOO. I truly hope I did Kakeru justice and please do let me know ur thoughts!! even if they're constructive criticisms or suggestions, I'd love to hear 'em!! :)
I was debating on making this the last chapter, since I'm not quite sure what else I can do for this fic...but I think I will keep it going at least one more chapter where they're actually together, just so y'all can get some cute yukeru content the anime lacked smh. so stay tuned for (possibly) the final chapter!! <3

What if Kakeru laughed at him? What if he doesn't believe him, or worse, tells me I'm too weird to be around, if he does believe it. These thoughts plagued Yuki's mind that night. Telling someone about this curse was...absurd.. This was something he never imaged he would need to do now, or ever. Tohru found out about herself, so it saved all the explanation, and even her reaction is, still, quite a surprise to him. Yuki began to pace around the room. Why should he even tell Kakeru in the first place? It's not as if he was going to transform into a rat when Kakeru hugged him. They were both boys. In fact, he thought it was because of this that he had decided not to tell him. What was the point, right?

No.

He needed to tell him. He wanted-no, needed to share every part of himself with Kakeru, even if this wasn't necessary to do so. Kakeru had already helped Yuki discover the truth about his own identity, there was no way he could live with himself knowing there was still one big secret he would be keeping from his best fri-no. Boyfriend.

Well, not that we've actually directly said anything like that yet, but...

Yuki blinks, his steps becoming less and less tense, but even still, each time he thought about the idea of telling him, the less appealing it was. This was too soon. Too weird, even for someone like Kakeru. He didn't want this to be another time the memories of Yuki got erased by people precious to him. He especially couldn't let that happen to Kakeru. His Kakeru. That wasn't all, though. Yuki had a fear deep down inside him that Kakeru would think he was a freak. He was afraid of him walking away, which, in hindsight, might be even worse than not remembering him.

The words Akito said to him as a child repeated in his mind like a broken record.

"Akito, am I really so strange that I have to hide who I am?"

"Yes, you are. A person turning into a rat is obviously something no one would understand. People would be sickened by your existence, and they'd begin to avoid you at all costs. You would be utterly alone. Is that what you want?

Thinking about that time more and more, he realizes...maybe the curse wasn't the only thing he meant by hiding who he was. Unknowingly, he also associated his own sexuality with that statement, and hearing Akito say those words to him felt like a knife to the heart. It stings and stings whenever Yuki thinks about it...maybe this is a bad idea.

He sinks to the floor.

Hot tears swelled up in Yuki's eyes, unable to stop them from pouring out onto his cheeks, falling onto the floor beneath him. Why was he crying? Was it because he was scared, or, perhaps, because he deluded himself into thinking something so normal about him was....wrong.

This had nothing to do with the curse. Nothing to do with the fact he turns into a rat when a girl hugs him, but rather, who he loved. How did it take him so long to realize that that conversation he had with Akito all those years ago had underlying meanings, and not just what was presented in front of him, almost like it was a metaphor. He felt like an idiot not realizing it sooner.