this is me trying

Chapter 6

 Leighton walked into Sipps, taking a shaky breath as she scanned the room to find Alicia, who she found sitting at a table in the corner. She slowly approached the back of the girl before forcing a smile on her face and walking around to sit down.

"Hey," Alicia smiled softly, setting her phone down on the table and gesturing towards one of the cups on the table, "I got you coffee."

"Thanks," Was all Leighton could think to respond, still unsure of how Alicia intended this conversation to go.

"How are you feeling after last night?" Alicia asked, scanning the blonde who nodded in response.

"Fine, the hangover isn't too bad. Sorry I was a bit of an inconvenience last night." Leighton let out a breathy laugh, breaking her eyes away in embarrassment.

"You weren't an inconvenience, don't worry. I was just worried about you." Alicia assured, an unsteady silence falling between the two girls. Leighton still hadn't pieced together what they were gonna talk about, and Alicia was trying out small talk before getting to it.

"Are you going home for the holidays?" Leighton asked, trying desperately to break the silence that made her chest ache.

"Nah, just gonna stay here this year." Alicia replied, staring at the coffee cup between her hands. "How about you?"

"Yeah, heading home a week from today." Leighton took a deep inhale, even just thinking about dealing with her family right now made her want to crawl in bed and hide from the world until January.

"That's good," Alicia smiled, picking up on Leightons unease, but not wanting to pry.

"Not really, but yeah." Leighton chuckled before clearing her throat, "You wanted to talk?"

Alicia paused, nodding her head slowly to think, as Leighton waited. Eventually she responded, her words slow and quiet, filled with anxiety. "I miss you."

Leigthon wasn't quite sure what to respond to that, or what it meant exactly. A thousand scenarios seemed to rush into her mind in seconds, clouding her thoughts before she finally decided on what to say, "I miss you too." She took a deep breath, leaning back in the seat, "I told you I missed you like a month ago and you turned me away. Told me to move on."

Alicia was quick to respond, "I know. That's what felt right at the time."

"At the time?" Leighton asked cautiously, looking up to examine the girl sitting across from her.

"Look, I know we hurt each other cause we were at such different spots in... All that." Leighton nodded as she waited for Alicia to continue, "But you've already come so far in just a month and I am so proud of you Leighton, seriously. I know that was scary for you, but telling anyone is a big step and you've told multiple people now. I never wanted to break up, but it was best for both of us at the time. I couldn't be someone's secret and you needed to come out on your own terms, we just wanted different things. Now? It feels different, it is different."

Leighton processed everything for a moment, biting her lip nervously, "My family still doesn't know. I'm still not ready for that."

"That's completely okay, it doesn't have to be all at once. I'm sorry if I made you feel like it had to be." Alicia sighed, a frown creeping onto her face.

"No, it's fine. I'm sorry I got so mad at the post, I know it was stupid, but it felt big at the time. Also sorry for everything else I said in the fight." Leighton paused, finally looking up at Alicia. "I never wanted to hurt you."

"We hurt each other, it happens." Alicia shrugged, both girls feeling heavy from the weight of this conversation.

"I guess," Leighton agreed softly.

"But what I'm trying to say is I want to give us another shot." Alicia finally said, a nervous smile playing on her face. Leighton froze for a moment, looking down at her coffee and trying to play it cool.

"What happened to moving on?" The blonde finally asked, looking back up.

"I couldn't." Alicia answered simply, crossing her arms against the table. Leighton nodded slowly, remembering back to seeing Alicia's profile.

"You tried?" Leighton asked quietly, once again breaking her eyes away.

"What do you mean?" Alicia asked.

Leighton paused, unsure if she even wanted to know the answer before finally asking, "Were you like... With anyone else?"

Alicia seemed to stiffen at the question, obviously not expecting it before nodding slowly. Leighton sighed, playing with her fingers as Alicia spoke, "We weren't together."

"Yeah, I know. It's fine, I was just wondering." Leighton shrugged, obviously upset by the information, but honestly unsure of why. They really weren't together, and she assumed Alicia would be with other people, but hearing it hurt nonetheless. Part of her wished she'd never asked.

"Were you with anyone else?" Alicia finally asked after yet another moment of silence. Leighton shook her head no in response as her fingers ran along the handle of her mug.

"Anyway, back to the matter at hand," Leighton sighed, desperate to stop thinking about Alicia with someone else, "I do want to be with you. I care about you a lot, and I miss you like crazy, but maybe we should just take it really slow?"

Alicia nodded, a soft smile playing on her lips, "Of course."

"It's just with finals this week, and Christmas break starting next week everything is gonna be so hectic. I don't know if we should jump back into this without talking about everything first. Like, really talking."

"Of course, speaking of finals though, I do need to go study." Alicia sighed, glancing at the time on her phone, "Can I walk you to your dorm?"

Leighton smiled, nodding her head, the familiar butterflies returning to her stomach, "I'd like that."

The two walked back towards Leightons dorm, making small talk as their arms occasionally brushed against one another. Leighton was trying to play it cool, but couldn't wipe the cheeky grin off her face as she talked to the other girl.

The blonde felt sad as they approached her opened door, knowing they would have to say goodbye with no plans to see eachother again yet. Once they walked into the empty common room, Leighton turned to the shorter girl and smiled.

"Thanks for walking me back."

Alicia nodded, "Of course." The two stared at each other for a moment, neither wanting to say goodbye, but knowing it was necessary. Leighton took in a deep breath, pulling the shorter girl in for a soft hug.

They sat like that for a moment, neither wanting to pull away. Leighton even debated asking her to stay, tomorrow was Sunday so it's not like either of them had classes, but she decided against it. She was the one who wanted to take things slow, and wouldn't give in to the temptations so easily.

Eventually they pulled away, smiling softly at each other. "I'll see you later, Leight." Alicia smiled, backing up towards the door to leave.

"Bye Alicia." Leighton whispered, watching the shorter girl walk away.

Leighton wasn't sure how this was going to go, and admittedly she was scared out of her mind, but this is exactly what she wanted. Another shot with Alicia. Things may not be easy, but Leighton felt like her broken heart was already mending, even if things weren't perfect just yet.

Maybe, just maybe everything would be okay.