I Swear This Time I Mean It ✔️

Chapter 26

November came and went, and the chill that started in Harry's bones remained, and only seemed to grow. Things were by no means bad, but they seemed to be changing rapidly, and he didn't think he could catch up. Lately, it seemed like the only times he could see Draco were when they went to sleep, or when Neville covered for them so that they could go on a date. Even those times were falling few and far between, and Harry was slowly closing in on himself once more.

Ron was constantly working to repair things with Harry, and it was all that was keeping him from falling apart lately. Draco was constantly with Pansy, Blaise, or the both of them, sometimes even seeing Hermione and Lavender. Harry was finding new spots in the castle to hide and be alone, wondering why he was feeling this way.

It was the end of November when things really worsened. The Ministry were coming down hard on Harry about his future. Every time that he tried to bring it up to Draco, Draco was whisked away by someone, and Harry was left alone.

Clearly Draco needed some space, and Harry would give it to him. He could function on his own well enough. His only issue was that once he had enough space and had spent enough time on his own, he would begin to purposely seclude himself once again. Harry loved being alone at one point in time, he craved it, and now he had to once again discover the difference between being alone and being lonely. 

That November month he had rediscovered what it was like to be alone. It was hard at points, and some days he wanted to shut out the world and quit. On those days, he would go visit the twins, once even leaving to see Molly and Arthur alone. Another time he had accompanied Ron and Hermione, Draco being either too busy or having forgotten the plans.

Harry understood, to a certain point what Draco was going through. That didn't make it hurt any less when at the end of the month Draco seemed to have forgotten their anniversary.

Logically, Harry knew that celebrating every single month wasn't necessary. Still, things were so infrequent in both his and Draco's lives, he had grown fond of the thought of celebrating each month together, at least for the first year.

Their anniversary had fallen on the second party of Hogwarts. After the success of the first one, McGonagall allowed the parties to continue as long as everyone continued to get along. Truthfully, Harry wanted nothing to do with them. He only showed up for Draco, and that was all.

For this party, Draco had gone off without Harry, a yell over his shoulder about checking the decorations. That was the first time he had seen Draco all day. Harry had gone to bed without him, his own bed that he was using more and more of, and Draco had been gone when Harry woke up without even a note. All day Harry kept waiting for a simple acknowledgement of the date, but none came.

Still, he showed up to the party, Draco waved to him, starting to make his way over. Harry waited half an hour as Draco was paraded about the room, spending time with everyone but his boyfriend. He felt as if he had brought this upon himself by not telling people that they were together.

When Harry's throat felt like it was closing up, he quickly made his way out of the Great Hall. He stumbled into the hospital wing to see Madame Pomfrey, who immediately sprung into action.

"Take this for your anxiety dear, and this one is because you're dehydrated. Do you want to stay the night here, or would you prefer to go back to your dorm?"

"Dorm. Need rest", Harry panted, slowly working to control his breathing.

"Shall I fetch the Headmistress?", she asked worriedly.

Harry just nodded, walking over to the window for some air.

"Potter?"

"I need to leave."