Love is Mischief

Disconnected

The next morning I was up early, ready to get started working on fixing Bucky. I took a personal interest in the matter because I knew what it was like to have bad memories, especially from HYDRA. I'm not fully healed myself from those days, but I'm at least functioning. I can deal with the occasional nightmare because I know that I'm far better off than I would've been had I not been found. Walking into the kitchen I noticed that Steve and Tony seemed to be in a pretty serious conversation.

Steve looked up when he saw me come in "Y/N, how are you feeling this morning?"

"I'm fine Steve, nothing a little rest couldn't fix. How are things going with Bucky?"

"Bucky is still a long way from being ok, but at least he's not under their control anymore. He's refusing to leave the cell though, I've tried and tried to reason with him, but so far it's been a waste of time."

I looked to Tony who was being way more silent than normal "I don't know kid, it's tough to watch. He's clearly not trusting of any of us and I can't exactly blame him either. I say give him another day and then we drag him up to his room."

Before Steve could get upset I stepped up to the two of them "How about I try and talk to him? It can't hurt." They both nodded at me. I decided to eat something quick before I went to see Bucky. As soon as I was done I headed right to Bucky's cell. I waved to Nat who was sitting outside and made my way in. The second I stepped inside his eyes met mine and he quickly walked over to me. I was taken aback by his sudden movements, but stood still as to not frighten him further. He gave me the smallest smile and grabbed my hand. I gave his hand a squeeze and I saw his body relax in response.

"Bucky, how are you feeling?"

"I'm alright."

"I know that you're hesitant to leave this room, but do you think we could try and go to the living room? You must be hungry, we can get you something to eat?"

He paused and just stared at me, I was starting to think he wasn't going to say anything, but eventually he nodded and squeezed my hand harder. I gave him a reassuring smile and started pulling him along with me out of the cell. Nat looked shocked when I rounded the corner with Bucky in tow, but I gave her a look to let her know to not bother saying anything. We made our way to the living room where Steve and Tony were. Both of their eyes widened when we stepped into view. "Hey guys, Bucky agreed to come and get something to eat."

Steve was the first to shake off the shock "That's great Buck, you must be starving"

I herded Bucky over to the couch across from Steve and motioned for him to sit down. He looked like he was going to start to protest, but I put my hand up pointing to the kitchen "I'm going to be right over there in the kitchen. I'm just going to heat something up for you and then I'll come right back. I'll only be gone a minute."

Bucky nodded and let go of my hand, settling into the couch. I gave Tony a look and motioned with my head for him to follow me in to the kitchen.

Tony still looked stunned, but shook his head "So, how did you manage to get him to come up here when no one else could get him to leave the corner of the cell?"

"I'm not really sure. If I had to guess, he feels comfortable with me because I was in his mind for awhile and I'm the one that broke the mind control. Whatever the reasoning, I'm just glad he's making some form of progress."

I found some leftovers, heated them up and brought the food out to Bucky. I handed him his plate and sat down next to him. He ate the food so fast that I got him a second helping, I had no idea when the last time he had eaten was. I looked over to Steve "So, we still need to work on fixing Bucky's mind. I believe there's something that we can do to block out the bad memories or at least ease the pain. The problem is that I've never done anything like that before nor do I know if I'm capable of doing something like that."

"Right. It figures that something like this happens when the Gods are gone. I have a feeling that Loki would be able to help with this, right?"

"I believe so. He's a much stronger telepath than I am."

"Ok. Buck, we'll keep you comfortable until Loki comes back and then we can start on healing your mind."

Bucky nodded and went back to eating. Once Bucky was done I decided to go to the library to see if there was any information on mind healing magic that I could read up on. I knew Loki had added some texts to the library once I showed it to him. With any luck there would be something there that would help. I was only a little surprised that the second I stood up so did Bucky. I gave him a smile and allowed him to follow me. He stayed with me in the library while I started reading through books. We stayed there until we were called for dinner. Bucky followed me to dinner and sat to eat with everyone, but remained quiet the whole time.

When dinner was over, we sat in the living room with everyone. Bucky stayed close to me, but didn't join in the conversation.

Tony got my attention then "Sparky, I have a room setup for Bucky next to Steve's. I figured your shadow would prefer that you were the one to show him."

I looked to Bucky and held my hand out for him to grab, I started to lead him to his room. It was the only other room on Steve's floor so it was easy to find. I made my way in and showed Bucky around as the layouts for the rooms were all basically the same, just decorated differently. "Alright Bucky, it's getting late and I'm ready for bed. Are you going to be alright on your own?"

He looked around and seemed to suddenly realize that he was going to be alone in an unfamiliar place. I saw the panic in his eyes and squeezed his hand "Would it make you feel better if you stayed in my room tonight? I could make up the couch for you..."

"I would prefer that. If that doesn't make you uncomfortable."

"Not at all, I wouldn't have offered if it did." We made our way to my room, I found some extra sheets and made up the couch for him. I handed him a pillow and blanket and wished him a goodnight "I'll be right in the bedroom through there if you need anything. Goodnight Bucky, try to get some sleep"

"Thank you. Goodnight Y/N."

I left my door slightly ajar just in case he needed anything during the night and left a small nightlight on so that it wasn't pitch black in the room. Finally, I got into bed and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

The next few days went the same. I would spend most of my time in the library trying to find a solution only breaking for meals. Bucky was always by my side and still slept on the couch in my room. On the fourth day of our little routine I jumped off the couch, startling Bucky "Yes! I found something! Let's go, we have to find Steve!"

We found Steve in the training room and he stopped what he was doing when he saw the two of us coming in "Everything ok?"

"More than. I found something that should help, what do you think?" I handed Steve the book and pointed to the section that I was referring to. It explained that there's a way to create a sort of barricade in Bucky's mind which would allow him to not have flashbacks or memories of his time with HYDRA other than important information. It would also wipe out the verbal commands that he was forced to follow.

Steve read it over a couple of times and hesitantly looked at me "Are you sure you want to try this on your own? Thor and Loki should be back any day now."

"It's not fair that Bucky has to keep suffering while we wait. I'd like to at least try."

"If you're sure then let's give it a go."

We made our way to the living room, it would be easier if we were both sitting comfortably as it was going to be a long process. I quickly explained the basics to Bucky and grabbed his hands to make it easier to hold the mental link. I took a deep breath and once again entered Bucky's mind. The haze was gone now which made it easier to navigate. One by one I went through Bucky's memories and blocked them off, keeping only the essential information. I have no clue how much time I spent in his mind, but I knew that I needed to accomplish as much as possible.

I got down to the worst of the memories and therefore the most difficult memories to block. It was almost as if these memories were fighting back with me, not wanting to be shut off. I pushed harder and harder until I felt a snap in my own mind. I was forced out of Bucky's mind and grabbed my head in pain. The pain has unbearable and I couldn't do anything other than scream and curl into a ball. I don't know who was around me at that moment, but eventually someone must've shoved a syringe in my arm because I felt the pain go away and I fell into a deep sleep.