All We Have Is Now!

You broke my heart

It was quite late in the night and the darkness of this late hour took over the entire place. Everything that was illuminating in the brightness of the sun before now sits in the darkness of night. It was eerie blackness all over with no source of light to be seen. However, to take over the darkness, light somehow finds its way and the big window of our treehouse was doing the same. The moon was shining like a pearl freshly taken out from a black sea, glancing over us from a distance. It wasn't alone but encircled by countless twinkling stars, together with all their might, they managed to make the room once engulfed in blackness now shine brighter in their way.

We both were lying down on the floor beside each other watching the moon, stars and the dark sky where they were lying, none of us wanted to go back home. Every time one of us tried to get up, the other one just pulled them down hoping to stay together for a little longer. But this time I made up my mind to go back since my mom called and there's no point to escape from fate now. I closed my eyes for a few seconds and opened them to look at him to tell him that its time to go but I found him looking at me, not at the sky.

"I thought you wanted to stay longer to watch moon and stars." I chuckled

"But you were." His voice was full of calmness

"Yeah. You know how fascinating I find them since I was a kid." I said

"I guess, we both were looking at something we find ourselves fascinated with."

His words hold power over me, every time he said something my heart immediately reacts to that and especially heart-fluttering words like this he says out of where. In times like this, my heart became ready to come out of my chest and hide somewhere where it could recover from this feeling that his words made me feel. It was a little hard to solely grasp the intentions behind his words, to comprehend if they were said in a flirtatious way or he just said it as a response. When he didn't stop looking at me with that certain look in his eyes, I said in a very low voice,

"Why do you have to look at me like that?"

"Why not?" He questioned back

"It's..............It's making me weak." I merely whispered. I wasn't sure if he even heard me or not

"I always wanted to be your strength never someone who makes you weak."

"It's not like that."

He turned to me and put his left hand under his head. He came slightly closer and looked at me in the eyes, " Then tell me, what is it like?"

"I don't know." I looked down avoiding looking at him

Although I was not looking at him, I knew that he came a little further towards me. He called my name and asked me to look at him and I too turned to face him. Now the distance between us was quite less, we could almost hear the sound of each other's breathing on us. He had a unique softness in his eyes, something like I have never seen before. It was almost like his eyes were smiling and his face had calmness all over. He removed the few strands of hair falling on my face with his other hand, put them behind the ears and rested his palm on my cheek and started caressing it. I closed my eyes because of this extraordinary foreign feeling, I almost melted in his touch.

"Does this help a little now?" He asked in the most affectionate way he could

I nodded.

"Now tell me, what do you feel?"

"A dream." I paused for a second, opened my eyes and looked at him straight in the eyes. "It feels like a dream. A dream, which will fade away the second I will open my eyes."

He looked at me and gave me an assuring smile. It was the kind of smile that makes you believe you could conquer the world. He came closer and whispered in my ears," Je time. Aujourd' hui. Ce Soir. Domain. Pour Toujours " and kissed my forehead.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. Just something I wanted to say." He winked

This memory has been replaying in my head since it happened and this was all I could think about until that one message came and changed it all. My knees were kept getting weaker with every step that I took. My heart was beating violently but numbly at the same time. For the very first time, I was despising the idea of this agonizing silence in these streets. If the crowd would have been here this walk would have felt less bothersome and I got easily distracted by the cacophony in the background. I was walking very slow, as slow as I could, re-thinking if listening to her or even going there would be a great idea or not. I found myself torn in half; half of me was regretting what I was doing or half of me wanted to find out the truth.

A few more steps and I'd be standing there. Even if the entire neighbourhood was enclosed in darkness, two humanly figures were seen and they were standing pretty close, close enough to hug each other and maybe this was what they were doing. My heart froze and I could feel a lump building in my throat. I tried to swallow that but I couldn't and the water that was ready to fall from my eyes wasn't helping at all. My favourite memory which I was thinking and living, again and again, looked very clouded even if it just happened three days ago to the view I was seeing right now in front of me. I instantly regretted coming here only then maybe I could have saved myself from this. I stood there, closer to the huge familiar front yard where I spent a long time which now was feeling unfamiliar as if I have never been here. It was looking unfamiliar as the person standing inside as if I have never truly known them. It wasn't supposed to hurt so bad but it was because it was Marco and everything with him feels abstruse, even the heartbreak. It was hard to tell if my heart was more breaking or my trust.

I just stood there blankly, trying to figure out if I should confront him or just leave it all behind. Everything. I have never felt so contradicted within myself. I wanted to go and scream at him the way he did before or go to any place and cry my heart out until my heart feels empty.

"Serena!" A male voice called my name. His face had shocked with a somewhat concerned look on it while the girl beside him was smirking. Stupid fucked up bitch

I joined them into that familiar yet unfamiliar front yard like I always did as a child. I tried to hide my tears and hold myself together to put them back in their place. No one gets to hurt me. Not Camille. Not even Marco.