{LEVIHAN} Always

Chapter 8: Unbearable Thoughts

Hanji's POV

"All set." Dr. Annis finishes changing Levi's bandages. She then hands him a small bag, "These are the medications you will need throughout this month. Notify Onyankonpon if there's anything else that you need. See you next month." She began to make her leave when I finally went back to the kitchen to make dinner.

Honestly, I could change Levi's bandages every single day and help clean them properly. If something opens back up, I'm qualified to sew them back closed. If it wasn't for my ability to sew things, Levi's face would've been much more disfigured than it is now. I get that he needs to see the doctor every day, and since I couldn't take Levi to the doctor in the nearest town because everyone would notice me, the doctor had to come to us.

The doctor could've had me examine Levi instead of her doing that. I could also help point out concerns that Levi couldn't see by himself. But no- she had to do all those things that I can do daily and weekly. All she had to do was to give him his new medications and other things. If that doctor had to help Levi stand up to his feet and help him walk to help him get some exercise, I think I would have to complain to Onyankonpon. Maybe even fire her for being Levi's doctor.

"Hanji!" Snapping back to reality, I see Levi, leaning forward in his wheelchair. The bag given to him by the doctor was on the table. "Are you going deaf?"

"No, I'm not."

"Then why didn't you answer me earlier?"

I shouldn't tell him what I think of that doctor- oh, but she is his doctor. If I had the qualifications to be one, then Levi shouldn't have another doctor than me, right?"

"Hanji!"

"Eh?" I turned around, seeing him shaking his head. "I've been with you in this cabin for 3 months already. This is the 3rd time that I've seen you act weird since Dr. Annis came up to check up on me. Is there something going on between you and Dr. Annis?"

"No, nothing at all." I scowled, turning back to the brewing stew. "Just leave it, Levi. The stew's almost done. I'll go and get a few herbs from outside-."

"Do you not like Dr. Annis?"

Then, I sort of lost my control over my words. "Why is she the one who has to examine you with a smile? Surely I am capable of doing so, right, Levi?!"

Levi fell silent before it clicked in his head. "I heard the word from the Scouts a long time ago, but... are you jealous?"

"That's the correct word, Levi, and... I guess I am. We're supposed to be out here alone... isolated and away from the chaotic world. It's just... monthly, I can't help but think you're falling for someone else... and one day, it'll disturb our sequestered cabin. Is it wrong? I think it's wrong to feel this way."

"Do you really think I'm in love with the doctor? That's... disturbing..."

"It does... but then again, this world is full of disturbing things. For example, titans and humans-."

"Enough. Just... enough." He sighed, pushing himself in the wheelchair towards me. "No more titan talk. This is our safe area... where it's just us two, understand, Hanji? Now, focus on the stew before you burn it again. Dr. Annis said another month or two before I could try to have a leg brace."

"Leg brace... what's that?"

"Some sort of thing that Marley had. It's made out of metal and it's supposed to act as some sort of support to help strengthen my leg if I wanted to try to walk. But because of... the... how the hell do I say it?"

"Just say it." I smiled, knowing that he had to discard his rules temporarily.

"Because of the titan's bite, I might not walk fully. So the brace can help me just stand instead of me leaning on you for support."

"I kinda like it when you lean on me for support. Is that leg brace going to replace me soon?" I chuckled, hoping it was a good joke. Levi has been the judge for my jokes lately, and he hardly gives a pity smile. 

This time, he did give a smile.

"I hope not, Hanji. Who else is going to burn the stew for dinner?"

"T-That was an accident! It wasn't my fault you decided to fall off your wheelchair."

We argued for a little bit until we smiled. At least no one was out here to witness our arguments... and at least we had each other...

*   *   *

Every night, Levi would insist on having my arm wrapped around me. He always claimed that his greatest fear was that he would wake up to see me nothing but a ghost. He was scared to go insane alone... but the more times he does this with me, the more times I feel safe and protected. I remember my research on the Ackerman abilities... Levi hated the fact that I should test on him but was almost relieved when Mikasa took up my offer.

And those rumors from those Marleyan people who said that Ackermans are some sort of guard dogs to protect shifters or the person they created this bond with. Of course, Mikasa stuck to Eren like a little girl attached to her doll. I always wondered who Levi's bond was with. It could've been several people...

Could it be wrong to assume Levi felt protective of me because of this bond?

"Hanji, you're moving around..." He grumbles, tightening his grip around me. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just... thinking."

"Of what?"

"Levi... do you... love anyone?"

"At the moment... yes..."

"Who is it?"

"The only person that's squirming in her sleep because of 'thinking.'"

I chuckled, leaning back into him. "Ah... is that so...?"

"Just shut up and go to sleep again."

"Alright, alright..." I closed my eyes again, shaking a bit. Levi was always blunt and straight to the point. I never thought that he would admit to loving me. Have I been that blind to not see-.

"Hanji! You're moving again."

"Sorry!"