FALLING

2018

The year 2017 was not an easy year for Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook. After they failed to come out to their fans during their Final Concert in Seoul, their company took advantage of their vulnerability. 

Their managers talked to them and asked them to keep their affair in private for the meantime. And since Taehyung has already been hurt of what Jungkook did, he agreed to their management. He didn't put a fight anymore, he stayed mum as if he doesn't care about coming out anymore. He feels like his chance already slipped through his fingers. Jungkook on the other hand happily accepted the management's decision since he realized that he's not yet ready. He loves Taehyung without a doubt but facing their fans, disappointing their families and hurting their friends would surely affect BTS and he can't afford to throw away the hard work of the other members just because of their own love affair. He's sure that sooner or later, Taehyung would come to his own senses too. He trusts his boyfriend so much, he knows Taehyung wouldn't be selfish to do that to the band. 

It's been months since their concert, everything seems normal because they're all busy advancing their career in the West. They have been recognized as Billboard singers already, their hard works are paying off so no one noticed that one member of the band isn't doing fine. 

Kim Taehyung looks perfectly fine in the outside. He looks ethereal as usual. He never fails to give the fans his best performance and even the members of BTS noticed how he became serious in producing his own songs. He even started to learn English too. He still laughs with them, even cracks some jokes in between their rehearsals. He still sleeps beside Jungkook every single night. He still hugs Jimin in front of their fans when his 'soulmate' wants to be touchy with him during their official schedule. He still teases Jin and Namjoon. He still challenges Hobi during their dance rehearsals. He remains the Kim Taehyung everyone knows except the fact that Yoongi has discovered that he goes out at night when he thought everyone's already sleeping. He would go to the rooftop and there he would quietly lit his cigarette. 

At first, Yoongi is beyond shocked when he followed Taehyung one night. It was almost 3 o'clock in the morning, the darkest hour of the night before the sun rises from the east. He quietly watches Taehyung slump on the cold floor of the rooftop while hugging himself. Yoongi even thought that maybe it was a one time thing, maybe Taehyung just wanna breathe some fresh air until the following nights happened. It's almost like a routine that Kim Taehyung, the loud and full of life member of BTS by the day is quietly dying alone at night. Yoongi clenches his fist upon seeing the younger lit his 4th cigarette. He can't stand watching him anymore so he made his presence known. 

"Since when did you start smoking?" Yoongi asked, thinking that he would startle the other but to his surprise, Taehyung seems to be unbothered. He didn't even hide his cigarette from him. 

"I've been hoping that you wouldn't approach me just like the previous nights that you've been following me here hyung." Taehyung replied, his voice almost unrecognizable because it sounds so different from the Taehyung who laughs with them during the day. 

Yoongi squinted his eyes as he took a step closer to the other. 

"You need help." Yoongi immediately said the moment their eyes met. His heart breaks the moment he finally saw Taehyung's lifeless eyes. He suddenly feels so bad for ignoring his guts, for wanting to believe that Taehyung is fine when he's clearly not. 

Taehyung laughs without humor upon hearing what his hyung just said. Of course, he knows he badly needed a help because he feels like drowning for a while. He feels like someone is constantly choking him every time he'll watch Jungkook play with the other members as if everything between them is fine. He needs help, he's been screaming in his head for a while now but everybody seems to be deaf. They all took the opportunity not to listen to his silent screams because that will be more beneficial for the group. His silent sufferings, his internal pain would remain unknown because everyone don't wanna know about it.