101 Ways to Pretend│Taegyu

Chapter 23

It felt like a sick joke, the situation he found himself in once again. Everything around him just as he remembered it almost two years ago, the very situation that hurled himself into the emotional rollercoaster that he went through, the very situation that allowed him to meet Beomgyu for the first time.

Presenting at the award show once again, for the same award, it all felt like the universe was purposely out to watch the two of them meet in person again. And the universe was, since Taehyun could tell that they purposely chose him for that very award the second year, a publicity stunt for the media to see how they would react to each other after god knows how long of being apart.

And he would have rejected it the moment he got the offer. But it persisted, that tiny, tiny sliver of hope that Beomgyu wouldn't be the one to receive it, despite having been given success beyond words both internationally and in Korea. It would have been good to get himself back out there again, for overcoming the one thing he was always reluctant to attend would be the first step to never thinking of the actor again.

But part of him knew that Beomgyu was going to get the award. He had known and he had accepted the offer to present because no matter how much he told himself he hated the other, he craved to be the person that put that million-dollar smile on his face again.

He straightened his tie and got up on stage, ready to present the one award that would make or break him. The lights were blinding, and the faces of everyone looking at him with curiosity were only amplified a dozen times more. His hands were clammy with sweat, his grip around the award so tight that almost everyone could see his nervousness, even if he tried his best to keep it under wraps.

"These actors have given us absolutely outstanding performances in lead roles this year... Please welcome our nominees for the 59th Baeksang Arts Award for Best Actor!" He spoke, hoping no one could hear the overflow of emotions rattling in his brain.

Taehyun let out a shaky breath as he let the video play behind him, his heart quickening at the mention of Beomgyu and the camera panning over to him in the audience.

God, he looked beautiful. Wearing the dangly earrings Taehyun always liked and his hair grown way longer than when he last saw him, touching the fabric of his crisp cut suit that made him look all the more dreamlike. He had only hoped that the mic wouldn't pick up the pace of his heartbeat, or the internal fight he was having with himself trying not to fall all over again.

But he had also changed. The circles under his eyes looked just a bit more prominent, his shoulders sagged just a bit more than they usually did, and he looked just a bit more tired since Taehyun last saw him. The past year hadn't been easy for either of them, it seemed. Taehyun knew that he himself didn't look any better than the actor did, but he found solace in the fact that he was not the only one hurt by all of it, despite hating him for treating it like it was nothing.

Realising that the video had stopped playing and he was stalling with an entire audience staring at him dumbfounded, he cleared his throat.

"And the award goes to..."

He opened the card. An all too familiar name caught his eyes.

"Choi Beomgyu."

It was quiet. The recognition flashed across Beomgyu's face as it enlarged on the screen behind Taehyun. But no camera could catch the glimpse of... sadness? That appeared on the actor's face. Only slight, but enough for Taehyun to know that this award wasn't all that he wanted. Still, the audience came to a roar of applause and cheering, and Beomgyu flashed the one smile that everyone knew and loved.

Up the stairs and finally face to face with Taehyun after ages, the anchor didn't know how he handled seeing him every day back then. As their fingers brushed while he handed the award over, he felt goosebumps shooting up his arms in the familiarity of all of it. He couldn't tell exactly what the actor was thinking as he looked at him, and he definitely did not have the time to decipher it, so all he did was flash a quick smile and go backstage as fast as he could- his heart thumping out of his chest.

Beomgyu began to say his thanks to all the usual people, the way anyone does when they win the biggest award of the year, and Taehyun half expected him to go into a sob story about his background as anyone else would. Until he heard his own name.

"And to Taehyun." The anchor in question froze in his tracks, not fully off stage but not visible to the audience.

"Thank you so much for loving me back then. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have been standing up here right now. It's funny isn't it? We began as a publicity stunt and you hated me, but you left me loving you harder than I ever thought I could."

He could hear the audience gasp at the mention of the publicity stunt, realising that not a single person had known. And now the whole world knew that they were fake and both of them were done for. Who would ever believe them now? And more importantly, what was Beomgyu even saying?

"And everyone here will hate us. And I will hate myself too, but I will never stop loving you. And I was too selfish to let you know that before, but what better way than to tell you now? I know that you're back there and I know you will never want to see me again, but I just had to let you know and I will never stop letting you know to make up for how much of a coward I was a year ago."

He didn't know how to respond. But he began to accept the fact that Beomgyu would always rekindle the dying flame in his heart in every possible way he could, and Taehyun would always let him. He knew how much pain the other had caused, but he also knew that the days he had spent loving him were the best moments in his life. And perhaps they weren't meant to be, or perhaps they were- either way, Taehyun would try his damn best to make sure that his feelings now would be the same after what he was about to do.

"And I'll say it once again. I love you Taehyun, I always have. Thank you."

The actor prepared to make his way down the stage, before his eyes widened at the sight before him.

Maybe it was the adrenaline rush that made him do it, maybe it was the feeling that he always belonged with Beomgyu manifesting in his heart, or maybe it was because Beomgyu looked so damn beautiful in that very moment- Taehyun found his legs bringing himself forward before he could even think. All the way back to the one person that he knew he still loved.

"I've never stopped loving you." It was quick, his voice barely a whisper, but it was enough.

And before anyone could even register it, he cupped the actor's face and swooped him in for a kiss one could only describe as magical.

Time slowed the moment Taehyun's lips pressed against Beomgyu's. His surroundings became a blur of flashing lights and cheers, but all he could feel was the oh so familiar taste of Beomgyu, Beomgyu, Beomgyu. A feeling that he only had memories of, a feeling that he wouldn't mind having for as long as he lived.

The actor in question froze in shock at first before melting into the kiss with the same ardour of love that Taehyun had. They fit together like they always had, two pieces of the same puzzle. And Taehyun revelled in the fact that this was never going to be the last.

They pulled away eventually, both aware of the awestruck audience that stared at them, as well as the glimpse of Soobin and Yeonjun jumping up and down cheering. Giving a little chuckle and a bow, they both went offstage, cheeks glowing red in embarrassment.

It felt surreal to be back around the effervescent being that was Choi Beomgyu, let alone be in his arms once more. The actor looked at him with so much love that it made him feel like the only person in the universe, but it was a million times better than seeing Beomgyu's face on a screen out of reach.

They had a lot to talk about, but Taehyun knew it was going to be okay. With Beomgyu, sunshine and rainbows weren't such a faraway idea.