Random pieces I have written

#3

Why of all the people I could have a mind-boggling dream of, it had to be of you. An innocent dream in a location resembling  the place we last saw each other, sitting with random people who I assume were just plain classmates or friends since a couple resembled people I once knew and had graduated high school with. There you were amongst the group sitting at a chair around the decently sized desk, turning my head to get a small glance as you looked over and gave a soft smile, turning my head to look at my lap in shyness but also questioning myself like "what the hell is he doing here, not that I am angry, but why just why does he have to be a thing that is currently bothering the thoughts in the back of my head," the dream progressing and I looked behind the person separating us just to take a random look of my surrounding as I sensed you look over at me observing me a second while assuming I was not noticing before turning away as I shook my head at that and that was all I could remember when I woke up. 

There is so many questions that ran through my head for a moment as I petted my feline friend over the blanket as I earned a little sound, shifting in her sleep as she got comfortable. Still I ask myself what lead him in my direction again, wondering if somewhere in his mind and heart, he still held feelings for me or something. I feel like I have thought of every way on how to confront him about this vivid dream, about the thoughts in my head that have not left for days, even those not really about them, could go. It would be a shock if all goes well. My family totally clueless to my subtle change in behavior as they assume I am simply thinking of how I am preparing to start gaining experience in my major in college in a few days. Oh but if only they knew of the daydreaming, the annoying thoughts I constantly have a back and forth with trying to sort it all out, the vivid dream just recently, how my heart raced up when they told me who they were in that text. I was a bit hesitant, nervous at first till I settled and stuck around to chat. So far not regretting giving them a chance to reconnect with me in some way. Still wondering to myself how things will go between us by me allowing him back into my life. 

Time and patience being my only determinants right now as to how my life will be this new year as I await for the spring term of my college experience to begin. Who knows what may occur honestly, simply one just has to hope for the positive outcomes and not so much negative. If only I had the gut to just confront people and things and not let anxiety guide me most of the time. If only there were a light in the dark answer to all my questions and stuff.