Seaside Fate

Lost

I drove in silence as i passed by a sign that said "Welcome to Palm Springs". It was getting late, well it was around 7 o'clock. I had 2 more hours to go. I couldn't stop to sleep. I had to get to my destination. That's all I was thinking about. I had this rage building up inside of me and getting to Santa Monica was the only thing that could empty that rage. As I kept driving, things became blurry. I caught myself dozing off time to time. Eventually my eyes closed and I felt my head drop. It felt like minutes later but I heard a loud noise and a light came in between the gap of my eyes. I shot up and swerved out of the way of the semi truck. My heart was racing and my adrenaline was pumping. I decided to pull over and stop for coffee. I don't normally drink it but I was in desperate need for caffeine. I had to have coffee if I wanted to get to my destination, and to get there alive. I pulled into a small coffee shop. I grabbed some cash and headed in. It was 8 o'clock and it was full of partying teenagers. I rubbed my temples at the noise of the teenage chatter.

"Tough night?" Asks the barista.

"You wouldn't believe." I scoff.

"Tell me about it." laughs the barista out of sympathy.

"I ran away from home. I mean i'm 20 it's not that big of a deal. Medium black coffee with milk." I said rubbing my forehead. I sat down at the bar area and the barista handed me my drink.

"Why'd you run?" He asked me as he was wiping down counters.

"Parents. They want different things for me. I needed to leave so i can know who I am. I'm tired of being told all my life what to do. For once, i want to make the decisions." I say taking a sip of my coffee. I cringe at the bitterness of the coffee.

"More milk?" The barista asks. I nod. he takes my cup and puts more in. He hands it back to me and I smile.

"Perfect thanks." I say.

I sip my coffee. Little by little the rambunctious teens leave and soon it becomes quiet. Relief filled my soul and i think it showed on my face.

"Finally." The barista sighed."They've been here for 5 hours."

I laugh "Sounds like me as a teenager. I used to go out with a bunch of friends from theater. We'd cause all kinds of commotion. We once got kicked out of a starbucks on a poetry night." I laugh as I remember my teenage self. I look at the bottom of my cup and it's empty. I throw my cup in he trash and toss some change in he tip jar. "Goodnight." I wave as I head out the door.

"Goodluck!" The barista calls out.

I sit in my car and take a deep breath.

"Come on Lucille, you got 45 minutes left of driving. You can do this." I breathe out and start my car.

I stayed alert and awake the rest of my journey. I got off the freeway. There was a sign saying "Santa Monica". I drove straight and ahead of me was exactly what I wanted. I saw the bright colorful lights of the ferris wheel and the pier lights and most of all, the ocean. Suddenly all that pain and rage just went away. I was at peace finally. I felt a tear roll down my cheek, i was finally happy. I didn't have to close my eyes to be in paradise, because it was right in front of me. I made the turn and pulled into the beach and parked my car. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, reclined my chair, and fell asleep in peace

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I jerked up when my phone started ringing. I cringed at the sunlight peeking through my windshield. I grabbed my phone. Eight missed calls from my mom and 3 text messages. I rolled my eyes and looked at myself in my rearview mirror.

"Ew." I whisper to myself. I make a weird face when i recognize my breath. Coffee breath, gross. I reach back and grab a brush. I yank at my knotty hair until it comes loose. My loose waves lay restlessly on my shoulders. I grab my hair to the side and put in in a loose side pony with a scrunchie. Just a little bit of concealer to hide my bags and mascara for simplicity. Well now my face is done, oops just kidding. I grab my toothbrush and toothpaste and a bottle of water I snagged from home. I start brushing intensely to get that horrid breath out of the way. I open my door to rinse and spit. I look up and a small girl just looks at me with disgust.

"Mommy look at that hobo." She says to her mom and points to me. Her mom mouths 'sorry' and walks her away. Great now i'm hobo. Wait, I actually am. I don't have a home. Am I just going to stay in my car for the rest of my life? Oh man, i need a home. I need a job. I didn't think this through very well.

I open up one of my duffle bags. I pull out a baggy beige sweater and a pair of loose black shorts. I never wear tight clothes. I feel that my body needs to breathe and my clothes represent my lifestyle. If I am free spirited so should my clothes. I throw on the clothes and grab my sandles, my ukulele, and my slouch bag and head out of my car. I throw my shoes in my bag because i probably wasn't going to wear them anyways, i barely wear shoes.

I head down to the beach. It wasn't very busy, being morning and all. I walked down the shore with my ankles in the water. Walking down the shore gave me the feeling of serenity. The feeling of the water surrounding my ankles and the bits of sea foam left as rings was soothing. I thought about calling my mom. Then I thought against it. I'm an adult, and she wants me to start acting like one. In order to be one i have to be independent. I decided to sit down on the shore line, just close enough so the water can reach me. I love the feeling of water. It feels like it's cleansing me of everything. It makes me feel clean, in a spiritual way. I start to slowly strum my ukulele.

"Do you want to go to the seaside? I'm not trying to say that everybody wants to go I fell in love with the seaside. I handled my charm with time and slight of hand." I sing. I strum lightly as I hum. Someone walks by and hands me a $5.

"Oh uh sir, I'm not playing for money." I handed him back the bill.

"You should. You're good. Save up to record an album." He says as he walks away.

I smile to myself. Am I good? Really? I never thought i was. I just sang to sing. I take off my hat and put the $5 in and sit the hat next to me. Throught the next few hours I sang. I didn't do it just for money, but fr confidence. After that man said I was good, i knew I should do this more. I sang for me. I sang release my feelings. My soul was relaxed. I would close my eyes and not pay attention to the people or I would lie on the sand. I sat up and opened my eyes after about 3 hours. I looked at my hat. It was filled with cash and people's spare change. I counted the change, $32.75. I threw the money in my bag and put my hat back on. I jumped up and walked to the pier with a big smile on my face.

I strolled up the pier. I made my way to the very end. I leaned against the edge watching the waves as they crash against the barnacle covered pillars holding up the pier. I subconciously listened to the street performer on the opposite side of me sing. After a while i was conciously listening to him. His voice seemed familiar. It triggered a memeory for me but i couldn't figure out what memory. The voice was enchanting. My body felt compelled to walk over.I slowly walked over to the man singing. He had on gray shirt and some raggedy jeans. His hat was backward and he swayed back and forth with his guitar as he sang to his music. People would walk by him or put money in his jar and then walk away. No one stood around like me. I then realized why i stayed. It was him.

It was Rob Urban.