Still Your's

02

"He came in again today",Jungkook said after another week and Jimin froze ,chopsticks loosely hanging off his fingers,"Is..Is something wrong?"
"No,Came in for nausea..Migraine getting worse", Jungkook quietly stated.
"He had been struggling with it for so long..I used to massage him to sleep",Jimin blurted out and dropped the chopsticks, feeling hungry no more.
"You still love Taehyung ssi, don't you?"
The name was the most familiar and a home to him but now as it rolled out of Jungkook's tongue,it sounded foreign and Jimin didn't like how alien it felt,it's the same name he whispered into his pillows,same name he breathed between his moans.

"I don't think I'll ever stop loving him", Jimin gave Jungkook a smile.
"Then why?"
"I told you already, Jungkook"
"Yes you did but i don't understand,why would you run away when it was going good?..fear of commitment?Is that it?"
Jimin shook his head like he heard the most absurd thing all day,"More like.. fear of losing",He sighed heavily.Jimin didn't know if Jungkook heard him at all and the boy had gone silent beside him.

Jimin wasn't sitting in the doctors' lounge anymore,he was in that old cosy purple walled bedroom.He had woken up that day,smiling wide,skin pressed close to his boyfriend.His head tucked right under his chin,hands loosely thrown over his waist.Jimin had detached himself to take a look at his sleeping other half.He had leant up to press a kiss on Taehyung's lips,a small press that Taehyung wouldn't ever know .But then it hit him.It hit him full swing how much he loved this,wanted this for the rest of his life and never let go but it scared the hell out of him too.Jimin drew himself away,sitting by the foot of the bed,he thought a lot that day.

Jimin was always scared of loving and being loved and always took it hard on himself when someone left him.Be it his father in an unfortunate accident,be it his friend from highschool who suddenly stopped talking , everything pulled at Jimin so bad.He was never able to survive goodbyes , constantly needing someone to fix him or else he will crumble.But that someone was Taehyung all along and what if he loses Taehyung someday.Everything piled up in Jimin's head so fast and it suffocated him.

That day he watched everything Taehyung did,from randomly singing love songs in kitchen,pressing a kiss on Jimin's forehead whenever he passed him,arguing with tannie with his lips all pouted.Jimin just watched him go around the house,living his life and for a moment he imagined their home without Taehyung.The silence,the walls closing in on him if he ever loses Taehyung.Be it in death and his worst scenarios.It scared him to live another day without Taehyung and Jimin did exactly what he did everytime he was scared of losing someone ,He withdrew.How exactly the same thing  lead to his friends' circle getting smaller by the day.But it was okay back then,cause whoever comes and leaves,he always got Taehyung.Jimin cried to sleep that night.

He prayed Taehyung doesn't know but he was pretty sure he did cause Taehyung hugged him tighter.Jimin welcomed the suffocation in his heart but the fear didn't let him live.He couldn't enjoy his moments with Taehyung although he forced himself to live the full of it while it lasted.Maybe that's why Jimin couldn't exactly do that anymore.He spend long hours in library,cried in washrooms and empty classrooms.A part of him told him he was being selfish,that he was only caring about himself and his pain and he shouldn't think about this and other part called him foolish.Jimin worried on sad days and worried about the end of days  on good days.

"Are you okay?Do you have something to tell me?", Taehyung's question was indeed out of the blue but Jimin was expecting it at some point cause Taehyung was noticing.Maybe he waited until Jimin was ready to tell him but now that couple of weeks had passed, Taehyung couldn't stand and watch his other half going through pain.Jimin opened his mouth but no words came out.
"Is it me? Did I do something?"
Jimin wanted to hug and melt into Taehyung.He didn't want to be the reason Taehyung's voice would break like this.But Jimin was selfish and stupid.
"We should break up",Jimin had said,his eyes focused onto the stain on the floor,spilled coffee from when Taehyung brought him breakfast on bed few weeks ago.His toes curled over the stain.That was the longest silence Jimin ever sat in and he wished Taehyung to burst out or plead but Taehyung just moved closer to him and hugged him.Jimin laid his head on his shoulder and cried, Taehyung's hand steadily rubbed circles on his back.What Taehyung said further only made him cry more.
"I am sorry you couldn't find happiness with me.Yes,it hurts like hell that I'll lose you but it would hurt me more if you are not happy.Ill always love you,Jimin.I love you so much that I'll lose you if you'll feel better without me"

Jimin can't remember the exact words cause he had sobbed over Taehyung's goodbye.

"Hyung-,you are crying", Jungkook's voice brought Jimin back to the lounge.Jimin felt tears down his cheeks and he sucked in a heavy breath.Jungkook silently passed few tissues and watched as Jimin dabbed them against his red cheeks.

A/n:do ya guys like it-!