MADMAN'S ARMS

26

( 🎶 You're The One That I Want - Lo-Fang )

I looked at the effete man in front of me, and for the second time without thinking, I made the stupid decision and told the guard to leave us.

Once again the urge of helping Brandon was more important than keeping myself safe.

The guard left the room with the door closing behind him, and Brandon and I remained in the same place as before. Knowing that I was now alone with him again, brought me a natural reaction of heartrace, but the feeling of brutal fear still didn't reach me.

"Does it feel easier now that we're alone?" I asked, keeping my voice settled. Suddenly Brandon took a small step forward while nodding his head carefully. I didn't take a step back, it was like I wanted him to come closer to me this time, like I wanted to experience that rushing feeling of excitement and adrenaline as he violated me again.

"The way I feel when I'm without you, Beverly is unexplainable. But when you're gone, it's like I'm gone. When you're not here, I could beat the shit out of every stupid person inside this hospital without hesitating even for a second, but when you're here, I suddenly feel like I'm home and sane inside, like I have actually have emotions and not just a peel of skin with evilness inside of it. When you're near, you bring back the goodness in me,"

The butterflies inside of me were going mad at the moment and I tried my very best not to completely fall for the attractive man's words.

Everything he said made me feel bad for him, like he didn't deserve to be here because he was able to feel, because he knew that what he did was evil and wrong.

I took a step closer to him as I figured out what to say next.

"The only thing I want is to help you. Please let me do that?"

The angelic man looked at me from head to toe with his big umber eyes. He looked so sad yet so relieved in some way. This time he was the one taking another step closer to me, but I still didn't feel afraid, not even a little bit.

"Then don't leave me again," Brandon's voice was so low in tone now, but due to the short distance between us, I could still hear what he was saying.

His words made my stomach turn once again and my eyes got wide open. I didn't know what to do now. The way he spoke to me made me weak and every part of my body wanted to accept his requesting statement.

As it was now my turn, I took another tiny step towards him, and now we stood so close that we were almost touching. I knew I shouldn't be this close to him, his tendency of impulse and terrifying actions had already told me that, but I couldn't resist the proximity, not after the rush from the last time I was here.

I could feel the scent of him from the two-inch distance between us. A mixture of lavender-fragranced hospital soap and sweat. It was intriguing and different, but it was also perfect, because it was his smell.

By now I could hear Brandon's breathing as well as I could feel it against my skin, and I was sure he could do the same with mine. My knees slowly started to give up. This was too much.

The strangest combination of feelings absorbed the energy out of me, as did his penetrating gaze when he strained his soot eyes and looked right through my innocent soul.

He moved his glare repeatedly from my eyes to look down at my burning lips and I pretended not to notice, but as he let his tongue slide over his own full and dark rosy lips while looking at mine, I couldn't do anything else than whiff out the heavy air I had spared inside my lungs. I couldn't hold my breath anymore no matter how much I wanted to, it was the only thing that kept me in control, but now I lost that as well.

Within the second I cleared my lungs from the intoxicated air, I understood that I was now vanquished. At this moment I didn't care if he noticed my weakness, I only wanted to show him how much I actually wanted to help him for real, not only as his treater but as a person who genuinely cared for him.

Brandon made a move towards me again and now our bodies were really touching as our chests raised along with our heavy breathing. I had to grit my teeth harshly together to remind myself to stay present. As usual his nearness was poisonous, and the last thing I wanted was to get intoxicated.

My shoulders tightened up. I didn't know what to expect next. All I knew was that I couldn't step away from reality.

With Brandon's chest against my own, and his hands slightly touching mine, I looked up at the taller man with nervosity.

In a careful move, he moved his hand in the direction of my face and grabbed a loop of my blonde hair gently to place it behind my ear. His prudent touch made me shiver. His hand was so cold, and even if it was just a light graze of touch, it was enough to make my blood freeze.

Once again I had to clear my lungs from being completely strained. My chest was uptight and my heart hammered behind my ribcage. I needed to breathe before I would fall down to faint from oxygen deficiency.

I closed my eyes only for a short second in an attempt to assemble my nerves, but it didn't have much effect.

I looked up at Brandon again, curiously big and nervous eyes searching for his eye contact. He answered my will by connecting his eyes into mine. It was almost like they were magnetic with how they searched their way to get completely stuck with each other, only then to be nearly impossible to separate.

Without warning, Brandon slowly leaned his head forward and reached for my now exposed ear. He stopped as his wet lip slightly brushed my earlobe and I could hear him swallow. The whole world stopped in front of me. I was dragged into the attraction and there was no way to get out of it now.

"I want to show you that you can trust me, Beverly,"

The shivers slunk down my spine as his raspy whisper fondled my eardrums, and an aching feeling reached my belly. The blood started pumping aggressively through every vein as the arousing spark melted the ice inside me. It was painful, and so glorious.

I shrugged while inhaling deeply, I didn't want him to hear my heavily affected lungs depurate my airways, but I had to keep myself alive. I was too curious about where this moment would lead.

After last week's occasion, I was now sure that I could trust him not hurting me, and that was the most important part.

"I do trust you, Brandon..."

My realistic whisper suddenly made everything around us disappear. His nose now stroked the side of mine and his forehead rested against my own.

His dark eyes were way too close to my soul now. I didn't think it was possible to intrude my insides more than he already had, but once again I was wrong about him.

Brandon's nose moved in slow, gentle motions against mine and my heart skipped a beat to the arousal appearing by the feeling of his breath against my skin.

I tied my fists and let my nails dig into the plates of my hands, trying to remain in control. But it was already too late.

With my mouth open, I breathed out heavily in another try to settle, but within the most sudden second, I noticed how Brandon's lips got roughly pressed against my own without any warning. The ferment filled my body up and I answered the kiss more willingly than I had ever expected. Without thinking for a second that this was the worst thing I could ever do, I let the moment flow with our lips attached against each other.

I placed my hand on his warm chest and I felt his heartbeat through the white cloth of his shirt. A small grunt left my mouth between our struck lips and once again my skin created tiny bumps all over it.

The blood in my veins now rushed more ferociously through my whole body and I could feel how the thousands of sensitive nerves in my lower belly started to pulsate as they got filled up with blood.

This was the last thing I ever thought would happen, but in some way, I wasn't very surprised.

I knew that I missed something while I was home from work. I knew that I felt something different in the vicinity of Brandon. And I knew that he felt the same around me. I just never wanted to admit it to myself, because this was the least acceptable thing you could do as a nurse.
Having intercourse with a patient.