BIOHAZARD (RE7 x Invader Zim fanfiction lmao)

Chapter 2

"Wake up stink-beast, we're here." Dib rubbed the sleep away from his eyes and sat up straight as the voot cruiser descended to the soft, loamy ground below. "Are you sure we should just leave the voot cruiser out in the open like this?" "It'll be fine Dib-shit Zim knows what he's doing." "Whatever you say roach-face." "Zim is choosing to ignore that." They hopped out of the voot cruiser and we're immediately greeted with the smell of soggy decay. "EUH WHAT IS THAT VILE STENCH?!" "It's a swamp dumbass, it's gonna smell like fresh dumpster chum." "Whatever, Zim far surpasses you in the realm of knowledge." "Sure." They quit arguing and headed in the direction of the main attraction. As they walked, Zim stumbled upon a conveniently placed cow flesh monument, complete with saw blades. "Hmmmmmm, something tells me this may not be a great idea....Oh well! It never says anything about aliens getting abducted!" "You're disguised as a human." "Oh fuck off Dib-stink Zim could crush any human beneath his mighty Irken claws!" "Whatever, let's just keep going. Also, lift this rope that's under the flesh monument, I'm too tall to crouch under it." "YOU DARE TELL ZIM WHAT TO DO?!" "Jeez man, fine i'll do it myself, but you have to hold the camera for a moment." "Fine whatever." "Also, we're leaving if we find any bodies." "Whatever pussy." They continued their journey and soon enough they reached their destination. "Well this is a horrid display of earthly filth." "Yeah it's called a ghost house for a reason- wait- did you see that?" "Zim thinks you're delusional." "No dude really i just saw an old guy walking through the trees on the side-line." "Zim didn't ask for you to elaborate." "Whatever jackass, let's just get some footage and leave." "Agreed." The pair made their way inside the old moldy house and soon winced at the horrid state of the kitchen. "Zim has found a bird monster in the miKrO WaVey thing." "EW DUDE WTF PUT THAT DOWN IT'S BUBBLY AND DECAYED!" "Nonsense! Zim is hungry, I haven't filled my amazing 'stomach' with food for hours!" "Dude i'm holding back vomit can you please just-"     

C H O M P

"Holy shit Zim i'm gonna be sick-" "Oh quit your whining puss-weasle it's only a dead bird thing." Dib promptly vomited in a corner as Zim continued to enjoy his snack.

"Y'know that was fucking horrendous." "Whatever Dib-thing, I don't recall asking you to speak from your disgusting human mouth flaps." "You're fucking insufferable." As they continued to walk they noticed the flashlight begin to dim. "Oh great, we're running out of battery power. If only someone hadn't eaten the spare batteries." "Calm down Dib-shit the mighty Zim always comes prepared!" "You've literally never been prepared for anything ever." "Whatever Dib-fuck Zim knows you lie." The flashlight soon drained of it's power and as Zim said, he was prepared. Zim's pak began to glow a bright pink light as they entered the living room. "Eh? DIB-FUCK GET OVER HERE!" "Jesus, what the ever-living fuck do you want?" "LOOK AT THIS ABNORMAL PHOTOGRAPH!" "Oh-uhm.. Zim, I think we should hold onto this." The picture depicted an elderly male looming over what appears to be the legs of a young female. "Y'know this kinda looks like the guy i saw in the-" "SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LOOK!" "Zim pulled a lever in the fire-place and a secret hatch in the wall began to open. "Are you sure we should-" "NONSENSE! Zim knows what he's doing!" The irken exclaimed as he crawled into the tiny door. "DIIIBBBB THERE'S A LADDER IN HERE!" "Alright I guess.." Dib crawled through and sure enough there was a old and worn ladder leading down towards a body of water. "DIB! The mighty ZIIMM is not very keen on water as you may know, so therefor, you must cary ZIM through the water!" "I am not doing that." "Fine, then I guess I can just take the voot cruiser and leave you here." "Whatever, let's just go." So, to Dib's dismay he had to carry Zim all through the water. However, as they surfaced and Zim hopped down, a human body floated to the surface. "DIIIBBBB! LOOK AT THIS BLOATED HUMAN CORPSE!!" "Oh-Jesus fucking-ughh-christ-" Zim poked at it then proceeded to take one of the many maggots out of it's eye socket. "EW OH MY FUCKING GOD PUT THAT DOWN!" "Nonsense!" Zim then slurped it up and Dib vomited..again. "Jesus christ Zim I thought you had high standards." "Zim does! You see, On irk these are considered delicacies!" Zim was lying of course, he just likes to see Dib vomit because it's funny. "Yeah, whatever- let's just go." As the pair continued they happened upon a toilet full of used needles, as well as a jail cell. "I'm starting to think that mayybee we should leave, like, now- ZIM GET OFF THE BED IT PROBABLY HAS AIDS OR SOMETHING!!" Zim was jumping on the bed much to the frustration of Dib. Dib pulled Zim off the bed as they heard a loud crashing sound in the next room over. "Yeah, let's not go-" "Nonsense Dib-stink! Stop being such a smeeble baby man!" Zim began to walk right towards the sound of the crash. "ZIM NO- IF YOU DIE I CAN'T GET A RIDE HOME-" ""SHUT UP AND LOOK DIB-FUCK!" There sat a scared looking woman in filthy attire. "Who are you?"

~~~To be continued lol~~~