the way i loved you

5

Pansy didn't wake up until breakfast was almost over, the dried tears making her face sticky. She peeked out of her curtains, hoping Hermione had already left.

To her relief the opposing bed's curtains were drawn back, a clean and freshly made mattress could be seen. She felt guilty for avoiding Hermione, but she had seen too much. Nobody was supposed to know about her issues after the war. It was the wake up call she needed, Pansy had lost sight of her goals for this year.

Don't get attached.

Complete the check-ins on time.

Finish with as many O.W.L.'s as possible to build her resumé.

Move to Paris and pursue whatever career she could find.

It was all written down on a piece of parchment in her room, posted on her wall beside her bed so she would see it every morning when she woke up.

But nobody had told her how hard it would be to stay away from Hermione Granger. It was simply impossible to ignore her, so Pansy had to distance herself.

It was the only way to keep her, from a distance and in a rivalry.

That's how Pansy had survived all these years, forcing herself to hate the muggle-born girl. Picking apart her appearance and joining in with the jabs thrown her way.

Pansy would never admit this to anyone, but she admired Hermione, she always has.

The hard part was going to be the nightmares. What was she to do? She couldn't let her scream, she wouldn't. Pansy resolved to sooth Hermione, and once she had calmed down she would leave without a word. That seemed like a good plan, if she ignored her she would go away...hopefully.

***

Pansy was not as lucky as she had hoped. The whole day Hermione had tried to start a conversation with her. In the hallways, in class, even in the library; wherever Pansy went somehow Hermione followed.

It got to the point where Pansy hid in the bathroom with Moaning Myrtle, having to calm her down multiple times.

She knew cutting he roommate off would hurt, but she never would have imagined it hurt like this; like a million daggers piercing her heart.

Was that dramatic? Yes, it probably was, but Pansy couldn't change how she felt. Hermione was in the dorm, Hermione was in the Dining Hall, and Hermione was in every single class she took.

The perks of being one of ten eighth years.

By the time the school day was over she was exhausted, stomping up to her dorm and not even paying attention when she bumped into people passing by. Her bag was like lead on her shoulder, and it took her a flight of stairs to realize she was a witch for fucks sake!

Now, with a charmed bag in tow, she could finally make it to the West wing without becoming out of breath. She grumbled the password to the portrait of the Hogwarts crest and it swung open.

There Hermione was, plastered on Pansy's bed, nose stuck in a book. Pansy cursed under her breath and was about to turn around when the door swung close with a slam and suddenly Hermione was right in front of her.

"What the hell is your problem?!" Hermione shouted. Her eyebrows scrunched together and she looked furious.

"Whatever do you mean?" Pansy tried.

"Don't give me that bullshit Pansy, you've been avoiding me all day! You've barely even looked at me! If this is about the bathroom-"

"Don't, Hermione."

"Don't what? So you had a panic attack! Everyone has them, we've been through a bloody war for fucks sake! I don't understand what the big deal is!" Hermione was panting, red in the face, and had gotten very very close to Pansy's face.

The two women stared into each other's eyes, black meeting brown, chest to chest. Pansy could feel Hermione's breath on her face, she could even smell her mint gum. Pansy squeezed her eyes shut, trying to shut down her thoughts that wanted her to grab Hermione and lead her to the bed.

"Pansy, open your eyes," Hermione whispered. She resisted at first, but slowly she obeyed. Hermione's nose was brushing against hers, butterflies erupted in her stomach and her legs felt like jelly.

"Don't do this if you don't mean it," Pansy breathed, tears threatening to spill. Hermione smiled and slowly rose onto her tip-toes, hands coming up to rest on either of Pansy's cheeks. Her thumb glided back and forth for a moment, admiring Pansy.

Pansy looked at her with wide eyes filled with fear. In the next second their lips met.

At first it was tentative, questioning. They explored each other's mouths slowly and lovingly.

In the next second a switch flipped.

The kiss became hot and impatient, neither able to keep their hands still. Pansy ran her finger tips down Hermione's silhouette, touching ever curve and crevice. She let her hands wander up into those monstrous curls she loved so much, tugging softly in an effort to elicit some kind of reaction.

Hermione did not disappoint, moaning softly with every new touch. She was keeping her hands on Pansy's backside, heating Pansy's skin.

Pansy gave into her desires and backed her up until her legs hit the bed and they both fell on top. Neither broke the kiss, and soon there were tugs on robes and ties, the need for skin to skin contact growing by the second.

They were both in their underwear when they finally took a break for air. Pansy couldn't stop the shit eating grin on her face and Hermione was glowing. Both laughed before Pansy leaned down and gave Hermione a sweet kiss.

"I think we got a little carried away," Pansy laughed. Hermione smiled shyly, trying to cover herself. Pansy's hand went to stop her.

"Don't, you're beautiful." Hermione blushed and looked away. Pansy gripped her chin and kissed her hard. She couldn't believe this was happening.

"Is this real?" Pansy whispered. Hermione's hands brushed along her cheekbone.

"Last time I checked."

They both got under the covers and snuggled close, Hermione tucked under Pansy's chin. She peppered kisses along Pansy's chest and pulled her closer.

Pansy fell asleep with a smile on her face and her favorite girl in her arms.