my girl, forever and always || steve harrington

the mind flayer

"lydia! lydia please! don't close your eyes on me, j-just stay awake! please, please. dustin! what's happening?"

"i don't know! i-i think she passed out because she lost too much blood! is she breathing?"

"we gotta get her to a hospital!"

"oh my god."

"is she breathing!"

"lydia, please don't leave me."

"lydi, lydi please wake up!"

"someone fucking check if she's breathing!"

"oh my god."

the voices were distant. she felt distant and her body felt heavy, but part of her felt so light. almost as if she was floating in space and she was simply, weightless. for the first time since her awful week began she felt truly at peace. but as the voices faded in and out, she heard one familiar voice increasing in volume like it was right next to her ear.

"lydia. lydia please wake up, i need to know you're okay. i love you. i love you so much. i can't do this without you, please be okay." it was steve. and suddenly her eyelids didn't feel so heavy anymore and her chest didn't feel like it was weighing her down any longer. she took a deep breath and slowly opened her eyes.

"i take a nap for a couple of minutes and everything goes to shit, huh?" her voice was raspy and quieter than she intended, but everyone went silent when she started talking. dustin was the first to react by burying his face in her shoulder and sobbing. "i'm alright dust, i just needed to close my eyes for a minute. you guys are so dramatic." but the adrenaline had worn off and she was forced to face the reality of the situation. she hadn't thought about it before but there was a very real possibility of her dying tonight. suddenly her stomach was being weighed down with guilt at the idea of leaving her brother and mom alone. at the idea of leaving steve alone.

dustin stood up and wiped his tears, suddenly remembering his friends were watching him cry like a baby. but there was no judgment from lucas and max. "sorry guys, i'm good now. i'm going to wait outside for you two." he sniffed and wrapped an arm around his best friend and walked outside with max in tow.

"lydia," he said her voice like he was afraid he would scare her off if he spoke too loud or too suddenly. he was still holding her in his arms and she could see the stray tears that threatened to spill from his eyes as he stared at her in awe. with her uninjured arm, she reached up and gently wiped one of his eyes and gave him a smile, letting him know she was truly alright. "i love you."

"i love you too, stevie-"

"no. i love you. i've loved you for so long and i have ignored it and i'm-i'm sorry it took me this long to realize but i really love you, lydia." their eyes never left each other's and lydia was certain she was dreaming at this moment but his hand came up and held her face and she knew it was real life. he leaned closer and his eyes closed and she did the same, but right before it happened she stopped him.

"wait, steve," she said firmly. he stopped inches from her face and looked at her in confusion as she stood up and walked away. "you don't actually want this. y-you're just in shock from everything that-that happened and you think you love me but really you're just deluding yourself a-"

"lydia!" she whipped her head around and stopped her pacing, unaware that she had started doing it. guess dustin inherited that from her. "i'm not in shock. i know what i'm saying right now and i'm saying it because i lo-"

"don't finish that sentence," covering steve's mouth with her hand, she took a deep breath. "stevie, you said it yourself. the kiss before was an accident and it shouldn't have happened. and i think right now you're just confused and you need to think about this. because this is too much for me right now and we have other things to worry about. okay?" he was about to argue with her but he saw the pleading look in her eyes, so he stayed quiet.

"okay."

~

"hey, thanks for letting me use your jacket." the older henderson nudged max as they walked down the railroad tracks with her bright green track jacket wrapped around her wounded arm. the redhead looked up at her and gave her a small smile in return.

"it was really cool, what you did earlier. you're, uh, pretty cool," she said shyly. "and, um, thanks for saving me, and stuff." lydia chuckled and put her arm around the younger girl.

"don't sweat it, kid." while the girls took a moment to bond, the boys were busy discussing dart.

"wait, a cat?" lucas stopped causing the rest of the group to pause as well. "dart ate a cat?" he asked in disbelief.

"no, what? no." the younger henderson said with uncertainty.

"what are you talking about, he ate mews." steve stated which made a part of lydia's heart ache in remembrance of the best cat a girl could ask for.

"mews? who's mews?" max asked which caused the brunette to drop her arm from around her shoulders and instead hug herself to stop herself from becoming overwhelmed. now was not the time for her to break down over mews, not when there are bigger things going on.

"it's lydia's cat." seeing her overwhelmed with sadness broke him, so he took one of her hands and held it tight, rubbing her knuckles with his thumb. it was comforting just being here with him but the knowledge that they can't be together made her heart heavy. the kids began arguing amongst themselves and the brunette no longer had the energy in her to break them up so she leaned into her best friend and took in his warmth. 

but steve was preoccupied with the screeching sound that could be heard in the distance as it became increasingly aggressive. the sound of bickering distracted him and he tried to get them to quiet, to no avail.

"hey, dick bags shut it!" lydia yelled at them causing them to cease their argument immediately. they made their way through the forest, her sneakers crunching on the falls leave and reminding her of better days.

days when her mom would make the largest leaf pile she could so that her and dustin could jump into it and disappear under the colorful foliage. or when she was more preoccupied with the nerves that wracked her body when she played a varsity volleyball game. those days seemed so far away now as she stood looking over the town with dried blood sticking to her arm and sweat sticking to her forehead. 

"i don't see him." the younger henderson stated, surveying hawkins from their vantage point. with his binoculars, lucas tried to follow the movement and sound of the demogorgans and landed on one spot.

"the lab," he stated with dismay. "they were going home."