what more can i say | rini au

20.

nini looks at the outfit laid out on her bed with a sense of something that felt a lot like apprehension and a little like dread to its greatest degree. she's not sure if she can do this.

the fishnet tights were something she already owned, but kourtney was not messing around with the styling choices today  and the black corset top sitting before her was definitely pushing the limits of her comfort zone.

but then maybe that was better. maybe she should push her boundaries tonight. that could actually be fun for once.

a night of firsts, right? that's how she's trying to look at it anyway... even if that's scary.

there were quite a few things she was questioning today, but as she hears a knock on her bedroom door she has to put that all aside.

"nini, do you have a minute dear?" carol asks, opening the door as nini shoves the clothes into a pile (sorry kourt), and sits down on the bed nonchalantly.

"of course mama c." she nods, offering her mother a small smile and gesturing for her to sit down with her which she does.

"sweetheart, there's been something i've been meaning to talk to you about. i didn't want to bring it up when you didn't seem to be talking but... is everything going alright between you and ricky? things seem different lately, i mean- you know your mom and i don't mind being your excuse, but you don't usually want to leave early when you're spending time with that boy." the words come off quite tentatively, carol not wanting to push her daughter to open up, but knowing something was going on.

"mama, i love him." nini says, expression going rather doe-eyed as she admits it aloud, her mother taking her hand and squeezing it gently.

"i know you do sweetie..."

"no- i- i really love him. and i don't think he loves me... i- never really thought he did but-"

"i see... honestly nini, i'm your mother, and i've sort of seen that look in your eyes for that boy for a few years now, you didn't have to tell me. and well- i know it's not my place, but you should see the way he looks at you when you're not watching." she says, looking at the teenager gently, all the warmth of a mother's love in her eyes.

"he's not in love with me. i can't believe it."

"maybe, maybe not. but if you love him, nina, you do have to trust him, but more than that you need to trust yourself. trust how you truly feel, beyond the surface."

"even when he's being a jerk and flirting with me all the time and touching me and acting like he likes me even when he doesn't?"

"okay, well i don't need to know about the touching, unless you want to talk about it, but if he's being a jerk to you, then you really should stand up for yourself nini... as for his liking you or not, i think that's up to him to decide."

"i don't think i need to talk about that part mama... but it's really not like that at all i promise." she giggles, shaking her head. "and i did sort of stand up for myself. but i don't know if i actually like the results of that choice?" nini sighs. "i sound so stupid right now..."

"nina salazar-roberts you're not stupid. you're the furthest thing from it." carol insists, shaking her head as she pulls her daughter into her arms in a tight hug. "you're just a teenager, that's a really hard thing to be sometimes. and love? love is even harder."

nini's about to cry, but she holds back the tears, replacing the expression with the smallest of smiles for now. "i feel so dumb, liking him like this... and he was so into gina, i don't know how i fit into that. i was okay with being his best friend, i really was, but lately it's just so much harder than it should be. and he's making it harder. it's not like i've changed anything..."