𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚 - 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙣𝙣

chapter seven

"So, uh, I was wondering," Love starts, while kneading the dough beneath her fingertips.

I lean against the counter behind her, watching her bake.

"What?" I ask, as she turns her head towards me. "Why...why are you so casual about everything that's happening? I don't mean to pry, and I'm not judging, but- every time you talk about Natalie and everything that's happening, you just kind of shrug it off. As if it's not a big deal."

I pause, looking down at the floor. My eyesight set itself on the spilled flour, sprawled out on the ground. "Natalie and I...we've never really gotten along. Not since she first came here. We just- we're not alike at all. I didn't like her because she ruined our family, and that was that." 

"So, that's it?" Love asked. As I look up to her, I see a confused look on her face.

I shake my head. "I do care. I do. I just- I guess growing up with my dad has made me an emotionless robot, too." I joke, trying to lighten the situation.

It's just the two of us in the bakery, behind the counter.

"That's not it, though." I add, sensing that she can tell I haven't told her everything. This- it was something I'd never told anyone, ever. The family already thought that I was the problem in Natalie and I's relationship, and I just wanted to be done with it all. So I kept quiet.

"When I was 18, my dad had to leave for a business trip for the weekend, and Theo was at his friends house, working on something for school. I was up in my room, and I heard a knock on my door. Natalie walked in, and-" I stop, debating on if I should tell her the truth.

Love looked concerned, stepping closer over to me. "She sat on my bed, and I could tell she was drunk, she smelled like wine, and she was going on and on about how much she wished we could have a better relationship. I agreed, because I just wanted her to go away. Then, she- she just kissed me. No warning, no anything. She just did it." 

"I pushed her away, obviously, and I told her to get out. That time on the bed was the last time I really talked to her. After that I moved out, I couldn't stand seeing her with my dad, after what she did with me." 

Love nods, trying to process everything I've said. I continue, "I know that it might not seem like a big deal, and it probably really isn't, it's just- I can't stop thinking about it. She didn't see me as a daughter, or family, she- I just can't believe she saw me in that way, I mean, it doesn't make sense, I-"

Love cuts me off, putting her hands on my shoulders, telling me, "Hey, no. It is a big deal. It was disgusting, and wrong of her to do that. Don't make it a small thing. It's not. It's as big as you want it to be." 

I nod, and I can feel tears welling up in my eyes for the second time tonight. I reach my hand up to brush them away, but Love grabs it before it reaches my face, and entwines her fingers with mine. My heart rate quickens, and I feel my breath catch in my throat as she leans closer to me.

I can't tell what she's trying to do. If she kisses me, everything changes. My life, hers, her husbands. We can't do this. We shouldn't do this. But I want to, so incredibly bad.

"Love-" I whisper, and she's inches away from me. She doesn't say anything, but I can tell she's staring down at my lips. "Do you really want to do this?" I ask quietly, and for a moment, there's complete silence.

She nods slightly, grabbing my face and pulling it closer to hers, so that our lips finally lock. It feels amazing, being this close to her. I know I should pull away, that I shouldn't be doing this with a married woman, but I can't help it. It's like Love infected me, polluted my mind, making it impossible to think of anything but her.