Chapter 3: The F*** is Equestria pt.1

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( *contemplating my life choices*

Can I cancel this book?

Co-Author: Nope

...Well, might as well grab this.

*grabs Harem request*

CA: No, No, You can't do that

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CA: No, No, You can't do that. Besides I told the guy I accepted the harem request.

...)

Location: Canterlot, Equestria

In canterlot, it was quiet as smoke can be seen rising above the Canterlot sky. A Crashed Apache Gunship can be seen in the middle of the streets, only a few meters from the Castle Gates.

Royal Guard soldiers can be seen securing the area of the crash site with The two Present Princess watching at the Apache Gunship.

"...Fuck..."

The Pilot says, groaning while waking up as he opens his eyes. The Canopy was covered in dust, preventing any visual.

"Fuck...Hey, Joker. You alright?"

The Pilot asks his Co-Pilot as a groan was heard from the Co-Pilot.

"Fuck...Those actually Chinese detonated a Nuke..."

The Co-Pilot says as the pilot groans in frustration.

"Everything is down, can't even contact the Marine Ground Force or Command."

The Pilot says as he opens the Canopy with the Co-Pilot. They exit the Apache, falling on all fours from the pain as they both land on the...Stoneground.

"Fuck...That Hurts like a-Wait..."

The Pilot says as both of them look around to see. The Buildings of Canterlot.

"...I think I'm High."

The Co-Pilot says as the Pilot Pulls out his sidearm.

"Be careful..."

The Pilot says as the Co-Pilot rushes back to the Canopy and grabs their GAU-5A Kits as the Co-Pilot gives the Pilot his kit. After assembling their Rifles, they look around for any signs of life.

"I don't...I don't like this-"

The Pilot was cut off as the gate behind them Opens. They quickly turn around with their rifles raised...Only to see Humanoid Horses with golden Armor pointed swords, spears, and bows at them. There were almost hundreds of them. Soon More came out of nowhere and aimed their weapons at the Two Pilots as the Two Pilots were now back to back at each other.

"Oh what the fuck...Stay close Joker."

The Pilot says as the two pilots hear something touching down as they turn back to the gate to see.

(F for my Search history, I TRIED TO FIND THE MOST NORMAL PICTURE FOR THIRTY FUCKING MINUTES STRAIGHT BECAUSE ALL OF THEM HAVE HUGE TITS AND ASS)

(F for my Search history, I TRIED TO FIND THE MOST NORMAL PICTURE FOR THIRTY FUCKING MINUTES STRAIGHT BECAUSE ALL OF THEM HAVE HUGE TITS AND ASS)

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(I gave up halfway for the Celestia One when I saw version anthro of her...Yeah I'm not gonna finish that sentence

Co-author: It's even too fucked up for me.

Here's a clue, It involves a chainsaw and a dick)

Here's a clue, It involves a chainsaw and a dick)

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"...I think I'm dead."

The co Pilot says as Princess Celestia smiles while approaching the two Pilots.

"There is no need to be afraid."

(Wait

*Destroys the Heat Season Request*

Okay I'm good)

Celestia says in a kind and motherly tone, the two pilots sweating as they kept their aim at the Princess.

"YES, NO NEED TO THY BE AFRAID. THUS I, PRINCESS LUNA BRING PEACE."

Everyone in a mile radius goes deaf temporarily as Luna still uses her Xanterlot Voices. She blushes while covering her mouth.

"S-Sorry..."

She says as they noticed the two Pilots unconscious on the floor with blood coming out of their ears.

"...Oh Celestia..." -Luna

"Oh Me..." -Celestia

(Wrapping it up, don't need more trauma.)

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⏰ Last updated: Jan 13, 2022 ⏰

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