Reawaken

15.

"It's all gone, girl."

            Norris was sitting across from me giving me an annoyed look, but I couldn't help myself as I sucked the remaining mixture of vanilla ice cream and root beer out of my glass.

            We were still in Cicely, sitting in a small diner not too far from the bus stop on the main road. The rain hadn't let up and darkness blanketed the sky as the floodgates poured down on poor Louisiana.

            The diner, a place called "Henry's Joint", was small with large windows and a long bar. Deep brown tables and bright red chair cushions were nestled in every few corners leaving just enough space on the checkered black and white tiled floor for people to dance next to the jukebox. Despite the dreariness outside, the light in the small space was warm and soft. The golden-honey hues of the lamp we sat under gave Norris's skin a rich glow.

            After running out the graveyard once the storm picked up, Norris insisted we grab a bite to eat before we catch the bus back to Eva, seeing we had a bit over an hour before it arrived then. We both decided on the special of the day; a plate of catfish with greens and hushpuppies – and my sudden hankering sweet tooth couldn't resist getting a root beer float for dessert.

            "I haven't had this since I was a girl." I almost whined, sad that the sugary treat was now just a memory lingering on my tastebuds. "Every blue moon, Daddy would to take me to this ice-cream parlor in town when I was little. He'd let me eat until my stomach hurt." Warmth filled me then from that memory.

A smile turned the corners of Norris's lips, the first genuine smile I'd seen from him since we left the graveyard, since he told me about Janie.

            Pushing the glass away, I huffed, a strand of my once pressed hair – now spiraling and curly from the rain, danced in front of my eyes. I brushed it away, resting my chin in my palm.

            "Ya find out more about ya mama?" Norris asked. I blinked at the man, quickly remembering our conversation on the bus ride over here.

            "Not yet. I'm sure one of them letters will have more about her in them. I just feel..." I paused, staring out the window, following the droplets as they slid down the glass, "I feel scared about what else I could find out." Or, what I was more afraid to say to Norris and even admit to myself, that in some ways I was exactly like her.

            I felt a small tap on my chin, realizing Norris had lifted my head up, forcing me to look him in the eyes.

            "Ain't no shame in how ya feel." He said simply.

            A sudden eruption of fuzziness filled my stomach then, nervously I pulled myself from him. An odd sensation had my heart fluttering, and I quickly rubbed the goosebumps that prickled on my arms.

            "Are ya gonna tell Celia about Janie?" I asked him.

            "I don't know." Norris deadpanned, taking a swig from his iced tea, "I don't wanna be openin' up no can of worms. She gettin' to that age though. Askin' all these questions about everything, I don't know if I'm ready for the questions about her Mama."

            "Just be honest with her. Tell her how much ya loved Janie, what she liked, how she reminds you of Janie. If Daddy had told me more about my mama, I don't think I'd be so messed up about finding out about her now." I told him.

            I always told myself that Daddy and Nana were all I needed in my life, that the love they gave me had always been enough, but I would be fibbing if some part of me growing up ain't wonder why my family was so different, what about my life made my mama want to run away.