Reawaken

2.

     I woke up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, disoriented, unaware of my surroundings. The buzzing of crickets serenaded the night air, my night gown clinging to my skin. I ran a hand through my hair, my eyes focusing in the darkness.

     My heart was pounding. I blinked to steady my breathing, my nightmare still sitting on the tips of my lashes.

     I was drowning in a dark sea. I was in excruciating pain, from swords slicing through my skin, ten swords to be exact. The water was painted bright red as I continued to drown deeper and deeper. Then suddenly a beam of light met my eyes, and I saw Daddy, smiling with his honey-brown eyes. I reached out for him, called for him, but the water burned my throat, the sharp ends of the swords slicing me more each time I reached out to him.

     Then, I saw Clay, and a bang rang loudly in my ears.

     All of this I wrote in my leather journal, an item I've had since I ran off to school. The pages withered and inked from years of expressing myself, things no one dared asked me to say, or cared enough to know. The small lamp on the end table gave the room an orange glow, not too bright but just enough to feel warm, not as dark as the fantasy of my mind.

     I sighed, throwing my legs over the side of the bed, pulling back the curtains of the canopy. The ceiling fan in the middle of the room whirred slowly, causing the wispy white curtains over my balcony window to dance and sway.

     I was wearing a short nightgown still clinging to my wet skin. Even in the warm, dim yellow light, I could see the purple and blue bruises fully on my pecan thighs. These bruises sat on my upper arms and along my back, all due to Clay's rage.

     A small ruckus from outside perked my ears. I walked towards the window to the Juliette style balcony, opening the doors letting in the fresh night air. The moon sat as a perfect crescent in the night sky, shining over the magnolia trees that sat on the courtyard of the hotel. The cool air felt good against my skin, my hair swaying against the small breeze. The air smelled of dew and moss.

     A laugh stirred in the night air, and my eyes followed the sound, seeing two men walking across the cobblestone street of downtown towards the concrete pathway to the front door of the hotel. Both wore a dapper get up, one wearing a snakeskin patterned unbuttoned shirt and yellow britches, his hair was combed out like how happenin' brothers were wearing it these days. His comrade had his hair combed out too, wearing striped trousers and a tucked silk shirt and loafers. They both were smoking cigarettes and carrying on like people weren't sleeping this time of night. Their dark skin shimmered under the moonlight.

     Still, they seemed far more classier men than the street hustlers that often scattered this time of night. But my wit kicked in, something told me deep down they could be trouble.

     But so was I.

     Instantly, my eyes locked with one fellow, his skin was the color of mahogany, his eyes were warm, the purest shade of brown. A smirk twitched his lips, taking a drag of his cigarette.

     "Evenin'." His friend greeted, a silly grin meeting his face, "We ain't disturbin' ya are we, miss?"

     "Y'all gentlemen are alright. Just wanted a bit of fresh air." I commented, before stepping from the balcony and closing the doors.

     I watched the starry night sky light up to the amber glow of the early dawn, unable to fall back into my slumber. Warm showers, late-night radio and reading the hotel bible wasn't a cure for my insomnia. Most of the night, I stared at myself in the antique mirror sitting above the dresser.

     I had placed my picture of Daddy and his friend there. Nana always said I was Daddy's spitting image. We both shared dark, pecan colored skin. Full lips, almond-shaped eyes. Except, Daddy had the purest orbs I'd ever seen. Honey-brown eyes that anyone could get lost in. No matter how tough and slick he talked, the window to his soul was tender. I'd like to think I had Nana's eyes, dark as whiskey, good intentions, loving.