lies arnt worth living for

chapter 3

Regulas pov:

When I was younger, around 7 or 8, mother would make me sit at a table and read poetry. All sorts of poems, classical, romance and war. Sirius usual ripped the poems up, said he didn't understand. Sirius is smart, no doubt of that, I'm not going to deny it, but there is something about poems which needs a special eye. I love poems, I love how the words flow with many meanings. No poem can ever have just one meaning.

I am reading a poem right now. I'm sat by the window as the train rolls swiftly through the fields. The poem I'm reading is a poem about a boy. The meaning I see in this poem is one I can relate to. The boy is forced to marry. The girl is beautiful, he describes her as the same yellow flower you'd see reflecting the wide beams of the summer sun, she is everything a boy would want...but not this boy. No this boy wants her brother. The shy, handsome boy that stays in his room reading books of old.

I don't want to marry a girl. I want to marry a boy.

James potter is far from being like a poem. His brave and courageous, his loud with the biggest ego. His hair is wild like, like the grass in the field in a wind storm. But his handsome, and funny and helpful and kind. His sat next to me right now.

I can't help but sneak tiny glances at the boy sitting next to me, only tiny I don't want him to catch me.

"Reggie what are you reading?"

It came from the boy sat opposite me. Remus lupin.

"Poems"

He nodds.

Remus is a boy, covered in scars. Where them scars have come from only the other 3 know. I'm not stupid, I know sirius loves Remus, and know Remus loves sirius. I dont hate this like my parents do, I admire it actually. I like Remus, not the way I like James but I still like him. He like book, just like me. He understands me, and that is wonderful. Remus is a boy, written like a poem. I feel like i could trust remus, he seems like the typical older brother all younger brothers need, not that Sirius isn't a good brother, he tries, I just make his job hard for him.

Sirius is a good brother, amazing. His taken hits for me, he protects me. I wish I could do the same. I'm not a good brother, the amount of times someone's spoke bad about him and I just sat there and listened, the amount of times I've watched mum torture him for simply breathing in the wrong direction, the amount of times I stood there watching as dad yelled horrible stuff at him that no dad should ever say to there son, the amount of time I stood outside of his room listening to him sob needing comfort but I'm too afraid of everything and everyone.

I want to be a good brother, I swear. One day, I will do something that will make Sirius so proud of me that all he wants to do is hug me tight.