Im not ready yet. [ Pregame Saiouma ]

Chapter 2

•Kokichi's Story•

God i hate math class.

BRRRRINNNGGG

The lunch bell rung and everyone jumped out of their seat and packed their bags, some kids running to their friends to walk to lunch with. I sighed and put my notebook in my book bag.

I swung my bag on my shoulder making my way to the library.

"Ouma wait up!" I heard a loud voice behind me

I walked faster

He caught up to me and grabbed my arm swinging me around to face him

"I told you to wait up asshole!" Kaito whined

"I was helping you work out" I smirked

"Whatever where you goin'?" He asked letting go of my arm

"To have lunch with kaede in the library, why?" I responded as I started walking again.

"No reason, oh hey by the way have you heard about the party on friday?" He asked me

"Kaito today is friday." I looked at him with a dumb look

"... anyways. Have you heard about it or not" He said annoyed

"No, who's hosting it?" I asked

"Dunno some kid in Mr.Antin's class. Its supposed to be huge though he threw one last year but not alot of people knew about it. He's inviting everyone in the grade this year." Kaito explained

"Ill send you the information if you're interested in going. Its 9pm-3am. There might be an after party for a select few though so honestly its gonna end at like 6 in the morning." He said looking at his phone

"Sounds fun. Who else is going? Do you know?" I asked

"Uhhh Angie, Kirumi, Tenko, Himiko, Gonta, Me, Shuichi, Rantaro, Maki, and Kiibo. From what i know Korekiyo is a possibility. He said he'll try to get out of babysitting tonight." Kaito looked at me

"You have shit all over you're face." He said

"No i dont" I frowned

"I think its mascara or something" he brought his hand up to my face and smudged his thumb everywhere

"My bad i made it worse.." He shrugged

"Wow thanks" i rolled my eyes and opened the door to the library "seeya Kaito" I said

"Seeya dude" he did an army salute before continuing his walk to the rooftop staircase.

I walked into the library and went through a few bookcases to our usual table in the back before finding kaede and plopping down into the seat next to her.

"Took you long enough." She said sarcastically

"I was walking with kaito i didnt wanna be mean you know how he is." I smiled slightly

"Yeah yeah.." She took a chocolate milk bottle out of her back pack and handed it to me

"Aww youre so sweet" i said pinching her cheek

"I will pour that on you're head if you don't stop." She frowned

"Sworry mama" I opened the bottle and took a sip

"God why are you like this." She said turning on her phone

"Uhm because you were always the mom when we played house. What do you expect?" I giggled

"Hey i sent you a text earlier it still says you havent seen it" She said changing the subject

"Oh yeah Rantaro took my phone this morning while everyone was in the gym he thought i was cheating on him because I changed my phone password." I shrugged taking another sip of my drink

"What the hell Ouma. Why do you think thats ok?" She asks in disbelief

I just shrugged at the question not really knowing why either.

"Its fine really he'll probably give it back after school." I said resting my head on the desk

"What did you send me though?" I glanced over at her phone as she's reading through the group chat the big ass friend group we have is in.

"Screenshots.. Rantaro was talking shit about you to kaito. He sent us a screenshot since Rantaro left the chat last week because of his little tantrum.. Im sorry that you have to see this." She pulled up her photos and handed me her phone.

"Oh.." I said after a minute or two.

I stared at her phone. My eyes starting to sting again like they did this morning. Why does he think ill do that..? I havent had an attempt in a year.. why. Does he think im fucking crazy?? Is he just using me..? Why does he still say he loves me if he hates me.. what did i do

I didnt... I

I thought I found someone who really loved me. I thought he cared about me more than anyone. He told me he did. He told me he was the only one who loved me. No one else loves me now.

No

No

No

No

No

No

No

No

"Hey hey dont cry its ok.. its ok honey. Sh shh" Kaede pulled me into her chest and hugged me tightly.

"Its ok." She said

She rubbed my back as I silently cried on her uniform.

Why is my life like this why cant i just be happy.

If i was happy then he would love me.