Do You Trust Me? // Bucky Barnes

15

Ava

Behind the Rogers' home, nestled in between tall trees that seemed to sway in the soft morning breeze, was a small lake. The early morning sunshine danced over the surface - flecks of orange and pinks melting into the blue - and as Ava sat on the small bench perched on the rickety porch that wrapped around behind the house, she let the calm wash over her. Her coffee cup, warming her fingertips, was held against her chest as she watched the sky turn from deep reds and oranges, to glowing pinks and purples, to the softest blue that stole her worries. And as the world around her began to wake, and those inside began to stir, Ava let herself close her eyes and breathe in the morning air.

She let herself sit in the quiet until the soft padding of sneaky footsteps broke through the silence.

"Peter," she sighed as she rolled her head to the side and he stepped out from the kitchen. "Why are you sneaking around this early?"

"I'm not sneak - okay. I'm sneaking. But I thought everyone was still asleep."

Ava smiled softly, lifting the blanket that covered her knees and gesturing for him to join her, and Peter grinned as he bounded forwards.

"I have questions," Peter admitted as he pulled the blanket over them both and turned to face where Ava sat, her eyes refocusing on the beautiful scene before them. 

"Of course you do," she sighed.

"Right. So. You two shared a room. What happened? Because I won't lie to you, Ava, I couldn't sleep I was so excited."

Ava groaned as she rolled her eyes and Peter laughed. In a turn of events she hadn't expected, she had struggled to sleep too and not for the usual reasons: her nightmares hadn't plagued her, she hadn't been kept awake by the fear that someone was coming for her, she hadn't even lay awake planning escape routes if something went wrong. No. Instead, she'd waited for the sound of soft snores to punctuate the air before she rolled onto her side and stared up at the man in the bed that she'd refused to take. She watched as his face softened, from hardened assassin and pissed off protector to something kinder; something more vulnerable, and as the hours slipped by, she followed every line of his face, every shadow cast by the long lashes that swept over his cheeks and every shadow cast in the dim glow of the moonlight. He'd laughed so brilliantly before, and as he'd slept soundly, she'd craved the sound again. So Ava hadn't slept. Because if she closed her eyes she would be deprived of a warmer, kinder Bucky Barnes and she wasn't sure he'd survive the light of day.

The light laughter of their hostess had Ava's mind slipping out of her daydream and back to reality, and as she turned in her seat she was greeted by two beaming smiles. 

Talia stood, her hair tied into a messy braid, with Nathaniel wrapped around her; his legs tight around her waist as he perched on her back and peered over at Ava with a toothy grin. 

"I'm with Parker." Talia grinned as she slipped Nathaniel from her hips and pushed him towards the garden to play. "How did my stubborn best friend behave? I know he hogs the covers so I did put extra blankets in there just in case."

Ava shot Peter a look of frustration and sighed. "He was perfectly irritating. Nothing I can't handle." She shrugged as she sipped her coffee. "Thank you, by the way, for agreeing to put us up after..."

"Yeah, Metal Man is moody." Peter interrupted and Talia snorted. "Got it. Anything happen last night?"

"Peter," Ava sighed. "Enough, please."

"Listen," Peter continued with a small smile, "you know my thoughts on the whole thing between you two and then you shared a bed. I'm a teenager. We're naturally nosey. Please, please, please tell me what happened."

"Little Bug." Ava giggled as she spoke and Peter nudged her with his elbow as Talia perched in the small rocking chair beside them. "I love you a little bit, you know - you do really, really remind me of my brother - but if you do not give it a rest, I will have to kick your arse like I used to kick his." She nudged him back as he rolled his eyes and grinned at her and Ava rest her head against his shoulder as he settled. "Besides, we did not share the bed."

Ava could feel Talia's eyes on her as she shook her head and smiled to herself and Ava tried to ignore it. She knew the look Talia was giving her, and she didn't want to unpack that just yet.

When Talia spoke, Ava was grateful the conversation shifted in the direction it had.

"You have a brother?" 

Nathanial's laughter sounded around them as they all looked to where he ran in the garden, chasing away birds.

"Yeah," Ava sighed. While she'd rather not answer question after question on Bucky, this conversation would hurt her. "I did."

"Is he back in England or..?"

Peter placed his hand over Ava's and squeezed gently as she took a deep breath and smiled sadly at their hands. 

"No." Ava sniffled as she shook her head and tried to ignore the ache building in her chest. "I - erm - my mother moved back to the states when my dad died. I was already in the army by then. And well... when the snap happened, she was driving Teddy to school. He was just eleven and I would get these phone calls from him when he was going to school if he could get through to me, complaining that she was driving too slow or listening to classical music really loudly again, you know?"

Talia didn't say anything as she nodded. She just listened.

"But they were driving that morning and some guy in oncoming traffic - well he - I guess he disappeared too, like I did, but his car kept going. And there was no one who could stop it when it veered into the wrong side of the road and..." Ava pushed at her eyes, desperately hoping she could stop the tears before they would come, and took a shaky breath. "After the blip - when I was found - the people who found me, they brought me to my mums house. Except it wasn't hers anymore, you know? The new owners were lovely. An older couple. They told me what happened."

Peter shifted closer as Talia wiped her eyes and looked out to her son.

"Did you know," Ava continued on a whisper, "that they didn't mark a lot of graves after the snap? They just didn't. And now..." A small whimper broke through her lips and Talia pushed herself to her feet and moved to stand before Ava, dropping into a crouch and taking her hands in her own.

"I'm so sorry, Ava."

*

Bucky

There was an aching sort of emptiness that crushed Bucky's chest as he stood in the kitchen, his back to the open door and his eyes locked on the kitchen counter. With every whispered word that spilled from Ava's lips, Bucky felt the twist of a knife in his gut. 

"Did you know?" Steve sighed as he folded his arms across his chest, watching as Bucky struggled to keep his eyes clear of pain and sorrow.

"Torres told us she'd had a brother." Bucky nodded slowly as he brought a hand to his face and swiped away the moisture beneath his eyes. "I figured she'd lost him but... I - I guess I forgot not everyone got to come back, you know?"

As Talia stepped in from the porch and Ava followed behind, Bucky pushed away from the counter and stalked out of the room. 

He couldn't talk to her like this.