Do You Trust Me? // Bucky Barnes

28

Bucky

"Come on, Buck." Ava paced the floor, her hands combing through her hair as she spoke, her eyes avoiding his. And he knew why. He knew she agreed with him and he knew she was scared. And this was killing him.

Sam had woken them early, calling a meeting in the dining room of the Rogers' family home and laying out the plan. Ava was to go with him. Ava was to come face to face with Sharon Carter alone. Ava was to play the part of the submissive pawn while Bucky sat on his ass, twiddling his thumbs, in a  house that felt far too small and far too confined with the thought of her not in it.  Ava was to play the game so that Sam could hack Sharon's system, with the help of Red Wing. And it was going to end with Hell. Bucky could feel it. Bucky had said it. In fact, Bucky had shouted it so loudly that even Talia's face had paled as she ushered everyone else out of the room and gave him and Ava the space to talk. And they'd been talking for hours.

"You're being unreasonable." She squared her shoulders as she came to a stop, her face fixed into an angry scowl as she eyed where he sat with arms open on the back of the couch, and she glared at him. "This is the plan and I intend to follow it."

"Well," he countered, "I don't like the plan."

"It's a good thing you don't have to like the God damn plan, Barnes!" Her voice was raised and her eyebrows knit together as she threw her hands out in exasperation. "Believe it or not, I am not your possession to control, Bucky. I have my own mind and my own fucking body and I will do as I damn well please. Now, you can either get with the plan and accept it and get the fuck over yourself, or you can..."

"I can what, дорогой?" A small smile was tugging at the corner of his lips, but her anger stopped it from spreading.

"Don't you sweetheart me right now, Buckaroo. I'm serious."

"So am I, Princess. I can what? Sounded like you had something to add to that comment, but you stopped." He leant forwards slightly, closing some distance between them, and hooked his fingers into the belt loops of her jeans, tugging gently until she stood between his open thighs. 

In an instant her hands were on his shoulders, rubbing soothingly back and forth and her eyes were closing as he gripped her hips and gazed up at her.

"What can I do, Sweetheart?" He leant forwards, pressing a soft kiss against her hip, before looking up at her again. 

She was frowning now; her fear and worries surfacing from beneath all the rage she had pushed out towards him.

"I won't be alone, James. Sam will be with me."

He sighed when her hand cupped his cheek and her thumb gently brushed over his lips.

"Just let me come with you, Ava. Keep you safe."

She lowered her face to his, her lips caressing his tenderly as he pulled her into his lap and wrapped her in his embrace. She sighed into the moment, their breath mingling and his heart twisting with the need to keep her from harm, and he hated that this kiss felt resigned. It felt final and fleeting and like she was saying everything she couldn't yet say aloud.

"Please, let me do this, James. I need to do this."

His eyes were still closed and their foreheads were pressed together as his fingers trailed up and down her spine and hers wove into his hair, toying with the waves forming and scratching at his scalp. 

"I hate his," he admitted.

"Me too." 

She kissed him again.

***

As Ava placed her bag in the bed of the truck and opened it quickly, Sam climbed into the cab. Bucky nodded to his friend and a quick jut of the chin was the response he got. But then his eyes were back on his girl. She looked stronger now, standing in the fading evening light and checking she had everything she needed one last time, before she zipped the bag and pushed it to the corner. 

Her dark hair had been pulled back from her face and secured with a tight band, exposing the pale white of her neck. Dark freckles lined the left side, like a speckled constellation, and Bucky reached out from behind her, dragging his finger over the small flecked stars on her skin. Her breath hitched in a way that hurt his chest. It hitched in a way that told him she hated this just as much as he did. And yet she still wouldn't accept his help.

"It's not too late, Princess." He whispered against her skin as he wrapped himself around her, her back to his chest, and buried his face into that hollow between her neck and shoulder.

"Bucky," she sighed. Her hands gripped his arms, holding him impossibly close as she breathed deeply, and Bucky knew she had closed her eyes. "This is the safest option, and you know it. If you come, you'll do something stupid the second you think I'm in trouble and you'll get hurt. I can't... Just let me make sure you're safe, please."

"What do you think I'm trying to do for you, Ava?" He pressed a small kiss against her neck, stealing that honeyed taste from her skin and savouring it. "It's my job to make sure you're safe. Not the other way round."

She turned slowly, never breaking their contact, and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, one hand coming to grasp the hair at the nape of his neck. "No, James. It doesn't work like that. You don't get to do the macho thing and tell me I don't get to keep you safe. I get to keep you safe too, James. I get to make sure that you're okay and that no one is going to hurt you. That's what you do when you l-" She stopped speaking suddenly and swallowed hard. Bucky stopped breathing. "Listen, I know how to protect myself, okay? She trained me well."

He opened his mouth to point out that this meant she knew her weaknesses too, but Ava silenced him with a kiss.

"And before that, I was a fucking good soldier. Ask T, okay? I'm going to be fine, James. I'm going to end this and then I'm going to come home, okay?"

Home. Bucky liked that word on her lips.

"You'll make sure you come home?" He kissed her gently as she smiled at him.

"Yeah," she breathed. "I'll come back to you."

***

Ava

As Sam pulled out of the driveway and onto the winding dirt road, Ava Hall watched as the shadow of Bucky Barnes got smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror, and when he was nothing but a blip in the distance, she allowed herself to close her eyes and finally give in to the fear.